Ebb and Flow: A Migraine Story

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 34:8

I haven’t written a migraine post since this year began, and since I’m on a brief hiatus and am actually typing these words several days before you read them, I thought now would make a good time for an update.

I’ve been on Ajovy, one of the new anti-CGRP migraine prevention meds, since mid-December. I’ve also weaned off of amitriptyline and divalproex, two of my other preventatives (which weren’t really preventing anything except weight loss and… um, other things I’ll spare you from). I’ve also had a single treatment of Botox.

And things have been… OK.

February was amazing. I only had 11 headache days, not a single one of which went above a 4 on my pain scale of choice – at least after I took the rescue meds. In fact, the rescue meds actually worked and completely knocked out the oncoming migraine. I thought we’d found the combo for sure.

Then March came in like a lion, so to speak, and it hasn’t been as lovely. With a day and a half to go in the month, my current count is 22 days affected by headaches, some of which were full-blown migraines ranking between 6 and 8 with rescue meds, many of which lasted for more than a single day.

So much for the winning combo. But it’s still better than 30 headache days, so I’ll claim it as a victory nonetheless.

But you know what? God is still good. He is still sovereign, and I refuse to let mere pain make me forget that. Even without migraines, pain is just a thing I deal with. It’s a part of my life; an expectation. A back injury at the age of 12 and early onset of arthritis-like changes in my 20s ensured that.

And with migraine, well. It’s just a thing. Avoid what triggers I can, deal with what I can’t avoid.

As an aside, it cracks me up when I’m asked how many times I went to the emergency room for my migraines. Why on earth would I do that? I know what the pain is, and I know how little can be done for it. I already have the ER treatments in my medicine cabinet, so the last thing I want to do is be add being poked and prodded amid the craziness of a hospital ER to my misery. Heck, I didn’t even go to the ER for meningitis until the third day of zero food or fluids…

But back to my point.

Pain is transient. Not fun, but not worth getting worked up over.

You see, my hope does not lie in a pain-free existence on earth, nor is my joy found only on low-pain days. I’ve tasted small sips from the Fount of Living Water and seen that He is good. More than anything, I long to drink deeply of this Living Water and be fully refreshed, and I know I will be someday.

Pain will end. Suffering will cease. But not just because my body dies. It ends because now – while I labor on in this broken body on earth – I have surrendered myself to the Lordship of Christ over my life. He is my King. He is my Master, and I am no longer my own. I belong, completely and utterly, to Him.

In my little life, I’ve had a sip from the cup of God’s wrath and from the cup of Living Water. One is bitter; one is sweet. Both are enduring. The amazing thing is that He sets before each of us both cups. We get to choose the one we drink from.

As for me, I choose to serve the Lord. Even in pain.

15 thoughts on “Ebb and Flow: A Migraine Story

  1. Praying for you especially since I have an inkling of what serious headaches are like. I have had very severe allergy intolerance headaches that have lasted days on end, and my father suffered from an autoimmune disease that included the kind of migraines you’ve described. He, in fact, ultimately went on disability because of his illness. So, I have strong memories of darkened rooms and hushed voices in our home as I grew up. Without a doubt, migraines are serious, severe and debilitating…and my heart breaks for you! Praying for real relief for you! ❤ and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It is a bit better, and at least they are pretty tolerable now. I’ve learned to push through and I praise God that the rescue meds work most of the time these days. That’s interesting that he had an autoimmune disease along with them. My docs theorize that mine started with an episode of viral meningitis way back before my youngest was born. I’ve a follow up with the neurologist in a couple of weeks, so we’ll see what she says.
      🙂 Thanks for the prayers! ❤

      Like

    1. They aren’t fun, but I know some people have much, much worse. I’m thankful I can push through and for meds that work much of the time! I will say I definitely look forward to eternity, though – without being morbidly fixated on it now! Haha

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thanks! It really is. Sometimes the beauty of this world makes me ache for eternity, too. When I see an amazing sunset or an incredible creature strikes me just so, I think how amazing it is that this is the sin-twisted world and just a glimpse of true beauty!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My tiny migraines are nothing compared to the ones you have, Heather. I pray the meds will work better so you have more of the pain-free days. Even though you find joy through your pain, I wish you less pain and more joy. Love that you are so positive about the assurance we have through Jesus. What a blessed reminder you give us that today’s problems are fleeting and eternity will be filled with only joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God is good to me! Pain is really just one tiny part of my life, and I will say I appreciate the days I feel well so, so much more than I probably would if they were more numerous! 🙂

      Like

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