Tuesday Prayer: Follow

A quick note to my blog friends: I apologize for not being very active or reading your blogs lately. I am in the middle of teenage chaos and adjusting to a new job. It is all I can do to post once or twice a week right now, so know I miss you and hope to be back to reading and commenting soon – though realistically, it may be months! ❤

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.

John 12:25-26

Lord our God, the Almighty, we praise Your name today, for You are good! By Your power, You defeated death once for all, raising Jesus from death to life so that we who follow Him may also be dead to sin and alive to You in Jesus. Hallelujah, for He is risen!

O God, let our rejoicing not be limited to Easter Sunday but continue throughout the year. Truly, our Savior lives and is alive and active every single day. Likewise, we have joy in Him daily even when our choice to follow Him leads us into places we would rather not go. But Lord, often You call us to follow You into the difficult and uncomfortable places, for there is where You do Your greatest work. 

Today, we pray that the Spirit will increase our zeal for God and for Your Kingdom. Train our hearts to let go of our lives in this world, considering them disposable for the honor of following the King of Glory wherever He may call us. Teach us to go wherever You lead us,  Lord – even if You lead us so far out of our comfort zones that we have nothing to cling to but You. Maybe especially then.

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.

Philippians 3:8

And when we feel weak and inadequate because of the depths of the waters where You have brought us, remind us that Your power is perfected in our weakness. Your glory shines through most of all when it is clear that You were the one working all along. Teach us to trust You enough to lean on Your power and not on our own capabilities; to trust You enough to step out even onto the waves when You call us there.

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.

Matthew 14:28-29

This week, Lord, we ask for You to give us the courage to put obedience to You above our comforts, to put Your will for us above our own will and desires, and to increase our trust in You. We do believe; help our unbelief! May our actions reflect our faith as You call us into a more intimate walk with You, setting us apart to display Your splendor here on earth.

As we step out in faith and follow You, may our trust in You grow with each new stride and may our addiction to security fade as we learn to exult more fully in You, amen. 

And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 10:38-39

Good Friday Reflections

And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.

1 Corinthians 15:17-19

If Good Friday were the end of the story and the Man on the cross merely died, the way I’ve lived my life for the last 17-odd years has been nothing more than a waste.

Without the Resurrection, the sacrifices I’ve made, the pain I’ve endured, the hours spent in prayer and Bible study, the money gifted to the Church and missions – wasted. Useless. Meaningless.

But don’t ask me. Ask Moses, a Ugandan man who’s been run out of his home along with his wife and 6 children because of his decision to follow Yeshua instead of Mohammed.

Or Sukbati whose husband was murdered for his faith and who now must support five children in the midst of her grief. Yet she has said she will not give up on Jesus.

Without the Resurrection, Good Friday is no longer good. It becomes just a day that another man died – one of billions. And Moses and Sukbati and millions like them suffer needlessly – giving up ease in this life for no reason at all.

Worse yet, without the Resurrection, we are all still in our sins. Me, Sukbati, and all believers. Believe it or not, friends, that’s worse than any persecution or pain this life can throw at us.

It means an ancient and creeping death sickens our hearts and decays our spirits, destroying any hope of restoration with our Creator and making mockery of the innate desire for immortality we all hold deep within. That is what sin is, and how rightly we should feel horror at it.

But the good news of Good Friday is that it did not end when Yeshua declared, “It is finished,” and gave up His spirit.

Firstly, His death was an act of purpose – He gave up His spirit; it was not taken from Him. He died on purpose, giving His perfect life in payment of the debt we have all incurred by our rebellious ways.

Then, on the first Easter Sunday, God raised up His one and only Son, so that the final victory over sin and death has been won. Sin brought death into the world; the sinless life of Yeshua Messiah, Christ Jesus my Lord, took on death and defeated it by His return to life.

Now we who are in Christ live a life of self-sacrifice – not because we are good people or for some hope of self-improvement – but because we are grateful for the Man who bought back our souls from death.

The life I live, I do not live for the praise of others but out of sheer thankfulness. If He gave His perfect life for me, I can certainly give my broken mess right back to Him. It may not be much, but it’s all I have. And I give it willingly, grateful even if I am ever called to suffer the rest of my years for His sake, because He already suffered for mine.

The hope of Easter is not a hope for today or for any earthly good at all. It’s a hope for a future far beyond today; a hope that in 100 and 1000 and countless years beyond, those of us who follow Jesus now will be following Him still, rejoicing in His presence, forever freed from sin, death, and despair.

Forever adoring the One who first adored us so much that He gave up the life of His one and only Son that we may join Him in eternal worship.

Hallelujah! He is risen!

Tuesday Prayer: Purchased

When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19:30

O God, what can we say? As we look back on the work Jesus did on the cross – giving up His life of sinless perfection to pay the staggering cost of our transgressions – there are no words of gratitude powerful enough. We are humbled by Your love and favor; we are in awe of Your mercy and grace.

How can we express our thankfulness but to consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to You in Christ?  We are Yours, Lord! Thank You for setting us free from bondage to sin and to death and making us alive together with our Lord Jesus! By His death, our ransom is paid and the work of atonement is finished, once for all. But praise be to God, we do not serve Savior who is dead and gone.

And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen…”

Luke 24:5-6a

By His resurrection we are brought from death to life and made victors over sin. Hallelujah to our God and King, for our Savior is risen and now makes intercession for us at the right hand of the Father on High! 

O Most High God, we praise You for that first Resurrection Sunday and for the Risen Lord our King. Let us celebrate, not once, but each day all year long. May it be that we celebrate our new life in Christ by living our lives for You every single day.

Keep that momentous event fresh in our minds and hearts, Lord. Remind us daily, hourly, of the wonder of Your saving grace, the terrible price of Jesus’s sacrifice, and the glorious righteousness that He imparts to us because of it. 

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19b-20

May we be ever mindful that our lives are no longer our own. We were bought with a staggering price – the lifeblood of Emmanuel – and have been redeemed as Your own possession. Teach us to live in this way, Lord. Train our hearts in obedience and shape our desires as You choose. May we live for You, love for You, and if necessary, willingly die for You.  

From this day and forevermore, Lord, use us as the instruments for Your purposes here on earth. May we hunger and thirst for Your righteousness, seeking first Your kingdom, and aligning our hearts with Yours. May our perspective be permanently changed as we learn to see the fleeting hours of our days through the lens of eternity. 

With this in view, may we devote our lives to fulfilling the great commission of our Lord Jesus Christ to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to observe all You have commanded us. And O Lord, teach us to obey first so that we can lead by our own actions, amen. 

My Impatience: A Confession

Then Moses turned to the LORD and said, “O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all.”

Exodus 5:22-23

When I selected this verse in a state of sleepiness last night, my intention was to revisit an idea I wrote – and somehow lost – a few years ago. Perhaps I will try again on another day.

However…

This morning, the Lord reminded me of the verse when I said something very similar to Him as we walked and talked together.

During my study of Revelation, I’ve found my heart torn in half. Every day I read it, I am filled with excitement and wonder as well as fear – but not fear for myself.

On one hand, I long to see the coming of the great and terrible Day of the Lord. I’m eager to see Him take possession of what is properly His and destroy evil once and for all time. I cannot wait for the end of pain and suffering and horror.

And yet…

I am burdened by fear for loved ones who do not know Him; who reject Him or who know of Him but choose not to walk in His ways. I am not yet ready for the Lord to come again because I want time for these to be able to choose Him. I don’t want their time to run out, and I don’t want to see them destroyed as unbelievers, on that Day or any other.

In short, I want to see them saved, delivered from sin – from the spiritual Egypt, if you will. Most of them I know and love. Some are the loved ones of dear friends. And I have been praying for them: Nathan. Jessie. Steve. Eric. Katie. Robert. Chris. Sherry. Gail. To name just a few.

This morning, I received the tragic news that one of the names from my list is no more. A precious friend’s brother took his own life. I found myself unintentionally echoing Moses’s words: “You have not delivered these people at all.”

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

Habakkuk 2:3

And He reminded me that while He is patient, waiting for all to come to repentance, I am not. I am desperately impatient, and I want to see this thing done. Now. Maybe yesterday.

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

2 Peter 3:9

Still, in my heart of hearts, I know He will bring it to pass – in His way and in His time. I trust Him. So I continue to pray that He will make the stony hearts into hearts of flesh and pierce them with the Godly grief for sin which brings repentance and leads to salvation without regret.

And I will continue to pray that each of these, and many more, will come to a saving faith in Yeshua Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ.

I also know that no matter how earnestly and desperately I may plead before the Throne of Grace on behalf of these, they each have a choice. God does not force Himself upon any of us. They have to choose for themselves whether or not they will surrender to the Lordship of Yeshua, because what He desires is for us to love Him back. And love is a choice.

So my prayers continue to rise to the Lord.

Oh Lord, let each one of these people choose You. Please turn their hearts to You. Open their eyes. Heal their hurts. Bring them into wisdom and knowledge of You, and let them taste and see that You are good. Protect them from the enemy’s schemes and from harm, and please do not allow another one to leave this earth until they have made their peace with You and been saved by Your glorious grace, amen.

And I continue to trust Him, knowing that He will work all things out for the good of those who love Him. All of them.

And I continue to love Him. No matter what.

Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says, “In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.

2 Corinthians 6:1-2

Tuesday Prayer: The Judge

And he said with a loud voice, “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come, and worship him who made heaven and earth, the sea and the springs of water.”

Revelation 14:7

Eternal One, You are the only just Judge. As the Creator, to You alone belongs the privilege of determining right from wrong and good from evil. Because You are the God who is and was and will be, all wisdom, power, and glory also belong to You.

God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.

Psalm 7:11

We worship You because You are Lord. Your decrees are righteous, Your knowledge extends far beyond the collective understanding of mankind, and Your Name is worthy of our praise. Blessed be You, the Almighty King!

When we are reminded of Your capacity as Judge, please call to our minds the many people around us who do not know You. With Easter approaching, may our meditation be on Your Word and Your goodness, but may our eyes be open to the desperate plight of so many people who do not trust in You and share our hope in salvation. 

For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

2 Corinthians 1:5

O Lord, give us a heart for the lost! Help us to live lives which glorify You and teach our tongues to speak Your praise freely no matter who our audience is – perhaps especially when our audience is someone who scoffs at You. Let us not be ruled by fear of man but be inspired by the horror of what will happen to each man who does not trust in the sacrifice of Christ to speak the Truth in love. 

Lord, use our mouths as Your megaphone, our bodies as Your messengers, and our lives as reflections of Your grace and glory. Teach us to be open about our own sin and repentance and to pray earnestly for our own eyes as well as the eyes of others to be opened to see our sin. Then, Lord, bring us all into the Godly sorrow which brings repentance and leads to salvation without regret.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

2 Corinthians 7:10

May our candid confessions and honest repentance be an open door for others who have been afraid to come forward with their sin or afraid to approach You. May our joy even in times of affliction become a beacon of hope for those who struggle with despair or addiction.

May our changed lives and God-honoring priorities be evidence for our gratitude toward You so that others may see that You are the reason behind and the impetus for all our good works.

And Lord, use us to shed Your light and spread the Gospel so that many others will be rescued from the wide path leading to destruction and brought into the Kingdom. This year, we pray to see a great harvest of souls who come to salvation in Christ to the praise of Your glory, amen!

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:20

Ebb and Flow: A Migraine Story

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 34:8

I haven’t written a migraine post since this year began, and since I’m on a brief hiatus and am actually typing these words several days before you read them, I thought now would make a good time for an update.

I’ve been on Ajovy, one of the new anti-CGRP migraine prevention meds, since mid-December. I’ve also weaned off of amitriptyline and divalproex, two of my other preventatives (which weren’t really preventing anything except weight loss and… um, other things I’ll spare you from). I’ve also had a single treatment of Botox.

And things have been… OK.

February was amazing. I only had 11 headache days, not a single one of which went above a 4 on my pain scale of choice – at least after I took the rescue meds. In fact, the rescue meds actually worked and completely knocked out the oncoming migraine. I thought we’d found the combo for sure.

Then March came in like a lion, so to speak, and it hasn’t been as lovely. With a day and a half to go in the month, my current count is 22 days affected by headaches, some of which were full-blown migraines ranking between 6 and 8 with rescue meds, many of which lasted for more than a single day.

So much for the winning combo. But it’s still better than 30 headache days, so I’ll claim it as a victory nonetheless.

But you know what? God is still good. He is still sovereign, and I refuse to let mere pain make me forget that. Even without migraines, pain is just a thing I deal with. It’s a part of my life; an expectation. A back injury at the age of 12 and early onset of arthritis-like changes in my 20s ensured that.

And with migraine, well. It’s just a thing. Avoid what triggers I can, deal with what I can’t avoid.

As an aside, it cracks me up when I’m asked how many times I went to the emergency room for my migraines. Why on earth would I do that? I know what the pain is, and I know how little can be done for it. I already have the ER treatments in my medicine cabinet, so the last thing I want to do is be add being poked and prodded amid the craziness of a hospital ER to my misery. Heck, I didn’t even go to the ER for meningitis until the third day of zero food or fluids…

But back to my point.

Pain is transient. Not fun, but not worth getting worked up over.

You see, my hope does not lie in a pain-free existence on earth, nor is my joy found only on low-pain days. I’ve tasted small sips from the Fount of Living Water and seen that He is good. More than anything, I long to drink deeply of this Living Water and be fully refreshed, and I know I will be someday.

Pain will end. Suffering will cease. But not just because my body dies. It ends because now – while I labor on in this broken body on earth – I have surrendered myself to the Lordship of Christ over my life. He is my King. He is my Master, and I am no longer my own. I belong, completely and utterly, to Him.

In my little life, I’ve had a sip from the cup of God’s wrath and from the cup of Living Water. One is bitter; one is sweet. Both are enduring. The amazing thing is that He sets before each of us both cups. We get to choose the one we drink from.

As for me, I choose to serve the Lord. Even in pain.

Tuesday Prayer: Praise

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! 
(Psalms 100:4)

Gracious and Holy One, we offer up our praise to You today! Blessed is Your name in all the earth , and blessed is the work of Your hands. It is You who made all good things and who gives all good gifts. There is nothing that happens on earth outside of Your knowledge. You even know the number of hairs on our heads, and even take note of the fall of a single sparrow in Your creation.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31

Oh Lord, thank You for the consideration You pay for us, Your image bearers, even though we have done much to stain and warp Your precious image. Thank You for the redemption You offer by the blood of Your only Son and for the mercy You show to us each and every day.  Thank You for being a God who sees us, who is compassionate and involved in both the details of our lives and in the vast scope of all Your creation.

Most High, forgive us for the many times we bring our concerns and pleas before Your throne of grace with an attitude of assigning tasks to You rather than with a humble demeanor of thanksgiving and praise. You have already done so much for us in Jesus; have already offered us eternal hope and joy. And yet, You still do more for us! 

Please, God, make us more mindful of Your holiness. Keep our hearts humble before You and never let the wonder of our Lord the Messiah leave our hearts and minds. May we approach You forever thankful, forever blessing Your name and exalting You in all we do. Teach us to exult in Your presence and to be satisfied and content in You. 

May we develop a habit of entering Your courts with praise and thanksgiving always. And as we learn to praise You in everything – in clouds and sunshine, in good times and bad – may the joy of the Lord fill our hearts. Let the brightness and genuineness of joy in us act as a beacon to the lost and hurting int he world. Use our testimony, Lord, to turn the hearts of others to You so they, too, may share in our joy, amen. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 34:8