God

In His Time

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
(Luke 11:10)

For years, a friend and I met weekly at 5:30 am and prayed. We prayed for revival, for for our families, for our churches, for our nation. To be honest, there wasn’t much we left out, and we prayed with open Bibles, starting our sessions off with Scripture and peppering it throughout as the Holy Spirit brought it to mind.

Of the many requests we lifted up, a specific one was on my mind today. But before I tell you that, let me back up a bit to the beginning of this school year.

If you’ve been patient enough to keep up with my ramblings for long, you’ll know that this year marked the first that I did not home school all three kids.  Because of the fact that I had to drive the older kids to their school 30 minutes away, I had to disband my little prayer group. The time just didn’t work out anymore. In fact, two hours on the road each day with squeezing in 7th grade academic and extra curricular activities… well, let’s just say that the time didn’t work out for much of anything.

SpecialNeeds022But for years, one of the many requests we continually brought to the Lord was for
provision for renovations to my friend’s house to accommodate their daughter who has spina bifida. But that kind of renovation is costly and was far out of their budget.

In a brief aside, let me tell you that this family has been through it. Besides the spina bifida and other special needs in one daughter, they also have 3 other children – and the youngest had cancer a few years ago when she was  only two. It’s been an unbelievably long and difficult road for them.

But back to the end of our prayer meetings. . .

This school year was rough on me. Not only was I in a bit of mourning over certain home school plans I had, I was also dealing with an unexpected exacerbation of migraines, thyroid issues, unbelievable fatigue, typical teenager-y stuff, and a seventh grade daughter still home schooling (and after managing my third seventh grader in home school, I will say it is not my favorite age or stage of life).

Oh, and my own stage of life issues. As if the migraine-fatigue isn’t enough…

Basically, by the time the school year was nearing the half-way point, I was over it. All of it. I was frustrated with God and I let Him know. I complained to God that He was not answering my prayers (which, by the way, were more along the lines of please help me with migraines so I can function or help my kids to love God and each other prayers, not I would really like a manicure prayers). I reminded God of the promise I began this post with among others. In short, I had a temper tantrum and pouted.

Then today…

Things are getting better. I’ve had my sulk and moved on, and my Father is so patient with me. He has been reminding me of, well of many things. Some of them I share here as time allows. Others will probably find their way here or into an article somewhere eventually.  But those are stories for another time.

Today at my friend’s house, there were plumbers and HVAC guys doing some work, and another man came to measure the special need child’s reach from her wheelchair in order to begin installing a shower with a movable head and a shower chair. Once done, she can begin to become more independent in her hygiene, which is a pretty important detail for a middle school aged girl.

The renovations are underway. God is providing, just as we had asked Him to do so many times, and He is providing through a ministry known as Tucker’s House. I was so excited for her, but I was humbled by my impatience as well.

Just talking about it reminded me that God does hear our prayers. He does give us what we need. He does provide. He just doesn’t always do it according to our timeline. 

Oh, and guess what? Now that my son has his license and we were able to acquire a vehicle, Lord willing, we will be able to start our prayer meetings again.

Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
Psalms 116:7

 

Drink Up

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”
John 18:11

God always answers prayer. However, His answer is not always something my flesh wants to hear, because sometimes His answer is “no.”

To me, it is a telling thing that the very Son of God Himself presented at least one request to the Father which was answered in the negative. Earlier on the night of His betrayal and subsequent trial and execution, Yeshua prayed in a place called Gethsemane. Perhaps the feast of Passover was fresh in His mind as He asked the Father whether He, too, might not be passed over:

And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
(Mark 14:35-36)

Of course, we know what the answer was.

And at some point later that evening – a point after Judas’s betrayal and Peter’s somewhat bizarre attempt to protect the honor of his Master by slicing off the ear of the high priest’s servant – Jesus spoke the words first highlighted above: “Shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

It was Tuesday morning when I read John 18; the middle point of three days of outrageous and inexplicable fatigue coupled with a slightly elevated temperature and (of course) a good, old-fashioned migraine.

“Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

I don’t know about you, but I have spent a good deal of time asking God to remove painful circumstances. Whether it is physical pain from migraines, arthritis, or the like or the emotional pain of dealing with the mild psychosis that seems to afflict most children between the ages of 12 and 18, I have presented many requests on my own behalf and on behalf of my loved ones that we might be spared from suffering.

But sometimes the pain is God’s will for us.

Sometimes, it is through the pain that He is most glorified and that the most good is done.

Now of course, the Son of God’s case is very different. Although He desired not to endure the horrifying agony of crucifixion along with what was likely a much more excruciating separation from the Father when He bore the sins of the world, He was willing to drink the brimful cup of God’s wrath to the very dregs in order to glorify the Name above all names and to redeem the rebellious creatures He made in His own image and loves even in their rebellion.

My Lord and Savior knew that the pain had a purpose, and even though He asked if there was any other way, once He was certain of the answer He was ready to accept God’s will even though it was more than a little unpleasant.

“Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

Naturally, no one will be redeemed through my own suffering. I am certainly not a spotless Lamb capable of paying for the sins of the world (although He has offered the cloak of His righteousness to me that I may cover my shame before God in His own garment – praise Him!).

Although I cannot see what benefit my own pain or the pain of my children and loved ones may bring to others, I can trust my Father to know what is best.  Certainly, God has already used some of my past suffering to encourage others, and so I can walk in confidence, knowing that He will work all things to the good of those who love Him.

And I do. I love Him.

While I would love to spare my three youngsters even a single step on the path of suffering, I also know that I have learned many lessons through pain that would have never struck home had I been spared difficulty.

So today, while I may ask that myself, my young friends, and my adult friends might be spared from migraine, emotional anguish, cancer, the consequences of sin, and other forms of suffering, I ask with a willingness to accept what the Lord sees fit to allow.

Shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me? If it be for His glory and for the spiritual growth and health of those He loves, of course I shall.

After all, if He did not spare His only beloved Son from following a path of torment and suffering, why should He spare me? For I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Yeshua did not and suffered anyway. For you. For me.

May all my pride be humbled before this understanding of the Servant King, and may His honor be forever displayed in every facet of my life.

Bottoms up!cup021

 

Not My Job

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'”
(Luke 17:10)

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To the right, you will find a section of my kitchen floor that I have come to think of as No-Man’s Land. Although my children have been required to help clean up the kitchen after dinner in some capacity since they were old enough to bring their plates to the sink, their responsibilities have grown with their bodies. Currently, they divvy up the duties among themselves and typically I will wash the dishes while they do the rest.

Or at least in theory.

It has come to my attention that there are two “sides” to my kitchen: the kitchen proper and the eat-in portion with the table. Apparently, if a young person sweeps one side, he or she is exempt from sweeping the other side. However, this section of floor between the island and the kitchen table does not belong to either side.

In fact, as far as I can tell, this particular stretch of floor is kept free of debris primarily by a combination of magic, fairy wings, and wishful thinking or failing that, Mom.

Yesterday, as I stepped barefoot onto some crumbs in No-Man’s Land and resignedly turned to get the broom, it occurred to me that perhaps some portion of the moral decay we see in our society today cannot be fully attributed to seething masses of pagan hordes gleefully spreading debauchery and gloating in evil. Maybe, just maybe, some of it has to do with the attitude that certain behaviors “aren’t my job.”

The things I’m talking about are small things, like cleaning the bathrooms at our churches or being the one who does not complain when our spouse does that crazy irritating thing he/she does.

There are medium jobs, too. Things like visiting a cantankerous widow, treating an outcast in your circle with love and respect even if they are hateful in return, or continuing to uncomplainingly serve someone who seems to take your kindness for granted as if it were their right.

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
(Hebrews 12:14)

Then there are the bigger acts – the places where we speak with our dollars and our actions. When the entertainment industry insists on placing inappropriate content in films, when stores embrace policies that are dangerous or exploitative to others, when advertisements marginalize or objectify women, we, the Church, need to be the ones who refuse to finance such choices.

That might mean inconvenience, taking a hard stand, being willing to do without certain things, spending our dollars wisely in order to send a message that we stand for the poor, the women who do not know better than to be objects, the children who are exposed to topics they are not yet ready to deal with. It is our job to be a “pillar and buttress of the truth,” and implicit in that is standing against immoral, corrupt, and deceitful practice even if it costs us.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
(Hebrews 12:3-4)

As the Church, our job is to go and make disciples. The Greek word translated there means, “learner or pupil,” and since most of us learn by example, setting an example is certainly the job of the Church.

And let me be extremely clear about this point: if we claim to be disciples of Jesus, we are the Church. We are the example. Where we spend our money, how we spend our leisure time, what we accept or embrace in our entertainments, how we act towards our families in private – all of it matters.

It might mean doing a job that no one else wants to do. It may mean dealing with humiliation. It may mean inconvenience, being out of the loop in our entertainment choices, or sacrificing a show we really did want to see. It may mean being called prudish or seeming to be an oddball in our culture. In all honesty, it may even mean our death in certain situations such as those our brothers and sisters face worldwide.

But if we are to make disciples, we need to first copy our Master, and while He was kind and loving, He was also uncompromising when it came to holiness and the honor of our God.

And He did many jobs that were not His to do.

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
(John 13:14-17)

 

 

 

A Prayer for Those in Pain

~ Heather Davis ~ 4 Comments

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
(Psalms 4:1)

Giver of all good gifts, today we praise You for Your mercy and for the unbelievably precious gift of our salvation in Christ. Thank You for loving us even when we were in rebellion towards You and for saving us despite ourselves. You are truly a God of mercy, compassionate and faithful to the uttermost!

As we come before the throne of grace today, we come as those who are in desperate need. We need Your grace, Lord. There are many among us who are hurting either physically or emotionally; many who walk in darkness and struggle with burdens too heavy for us to carry. Yet You are the Light of the world who dispels the darkness, and upon Your able shoulders we are told to cast our cares and our worries.

Today, I ask that You will help those who are in need to do just that: cast their cares on You. Pierce the darkness with the light of Your truth and goodness, and lift the burden of those who are heavily laden. Refresh the weak and weary in spirit and revive the heart of the despondent. I humbly ask that You will lift the eyes of the downcast and cause them to be fixed steadfastly on You.
Be the Healer, the Provider, and the Joy of Your people, Lord! Make our hearts feel the rightness of Your presence and cause our spirits to soar on wings like eagles’. May it be that Your people are  so filled with the joy of the Lord that we naturally proclaim Your goodness and grace by our every action and word. Revive the hearts of Your people for Your own glory, Lord, and let it be that we display Your power as we walk in victory over sin and despair. For the glory of the risen King and in His name we ask this benefit, amen.

Changeless

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

I am not sure how the rest of the country has fared this year, but the seasons in Tennessee have been rather confused. We had summer until Thanksgiving, and autumn lasted until mid-March except for a single weekend interlude of winter.

But just when we thought that winter might just give us a pass entirely; once all the trees were in bloom and many of the daffodils had already bloomed and faded, winter stuck once more. Weather-wise, it has been a very unpredictable year.

In my home, too, the season has been relatively unstable. With two teens and one nearly-teen, you really never know what each new day will bring. And apparently 16+ years of sleep deprivation have caught up with this old girl, because suddenly I find I am struggling with fatigue the likes of which I have not felt since early pregnancy.

Some days, I feel like Forrest Gump is standing nearby chanting, “Life is like a box of chocolates,” in that oddly-cadenced voice…

Despite the general craziness and emotional chaos of our lives right now, there is one thing that never changes. The steadfast love of my Lord never ceases, and the mercy of the Eternal One never comes to an end; they are new every morning.

Today, I am inexpressibly grateful that in an ever-changing world, I have the privilege of knowing and serving an eternal and unchanging God!

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
Psalms 90:2

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!
Psalms 107:1

 

A Foothold

~ Heather Davis ~ 3 Comments

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.
(Colossians 4:2)

Some weeks are just… funky. Take this week, for instance. Coming off of a several-week stretch of absolutely ridiculous fatigue, I finally woke up on Monday and felt, if not exactly rested, at least functional.

And it was a pretty productive day. In fact, between Monday and Tuesday, I managed to get through the usual homeschooling, parenting, and home management details plus finish correcting formatting errors on my manuscript, do some preliminary research on what I need to do in terms of putting together a book proposal, and started revising my chapter summary in hopes of gaining some publisher or agent’s attention.

On top of that, I was able to finish a project I’ve been working on as a gift (which I can say nothing more about on the off chance that the intended recipient stops by). I even had some excellent walks and talks with my Heavenly Father – something I have badly missed this school year but am now able to do again thanks to my son’s new status as a driver.

Yet, I could think of nothing useful to write about.

I suppose that keeping any sort of record of my faith journey is bound to have spells like this. Sometimes, I simply feel like there is nothing new to say. At other times, the things God is showing me through my time in His word or prayer just takes time and meditation before it can be distilled into words.

Still other times, I have one of those extremely mild but extremely annoying little “migraine-ish” headaches that does little more than scatter my thoughts and crumble my motivation. At times like that, writing becomes something very like trying to leash train a cat.

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The Miscreant enjoying his walk

At times like this, I suppose the thing to do is to persist. Write something down anyway. Drag the dead weight if I must.

Actually, it’s a lot like prayer…

In his letter to the Colossian church, Paul admonishes them to “continue steadfastly in prayer.”

This is a reminder I recently needed. After all, sometimes God answers prayer in immediate, very specific, and exciting ways. At such times it is a thrill to be a part of His work, and the natural overflow is one of thanksgiving and praise.

But other times…

Well, other times remind me of Abraham. When he first met God, his name was Abram, and he was told to take his household and move to “the land that I [God] will show you.”  (See Genesis 12:1)

Not long afterwards, the Lord told Abram that He would give all the land his eyes could see to Abram and his children (Genesis 13:14-18). At this point, the man was childless, yet he did as the Lord said. Eventually, when Abram was 99, the Lord revealed Himself to Abram as El Shaddai – the Almighty God – and changed his name from Abram (exalted father) to Abraham (father of a multitude). You can read about that in Genesis 17, and there is a lot more to say about the story than time allows (especially since I am now trying to squeeze this post in when there are a half-dozen other tasks awaiting me).

For now, suffice to say that Abraham died before God’s promise was fulfilled, owning only the cave that he and his wife were buried in (see Genesis 23:19-20 and 25:9).  And yet, we are told that, “Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.” (Genesis 15:6, Romans 4:3 et al).

The promise may not have been completely fulfilled in Abraham’s lifespan, but he did die with a sort of foothold on the Promised Land. And eventually, of course, his offspring did possess the land.

I tend to think Abraham may have been a teensy bit more self-focused than me. You see, he believed God and persisted in his relationship to the Lord no matter what. I have to admit that I have been known to throw a bit of a temper tantrum to my Father, along the lines of, “You promised that if I asked certain things that I know to be within Your will, they would happen. Where are they?”

Yeah, it’s a little embarrassing on my part.

The truth is, God does fulfill His promises; but not in my time and my way. Maybe Abraham knew this, which is why he was so willing to march up Moriah with his son, a knife, and a bundle of firewood. He knew God would deliver on the promise, even  if it was in some convoluted way that Abraham could not see. Maybe, to Abraham, a foothold was assurance enough.

So, whatever it is you are praying for, if you are certain it is within the will of God (and I am speaking more of the salvation of another person or that your children will love God with all their hearts, not a new car or a better house), continue steadfastly!

But – and here is the part that I am slow to learn – continue steadfastly with thanksgiving. If we really, really believe God will do what He says He will do, why wait to thank Him when the deal is done?  I think, maybe, what I need to do more of when I persevere in prayer is to do so with gratitude already on my lips, fully confident that my God will bring it to pass.

After all, when I look at my own salvation, I see that He has already given me a foothold.

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
(1 Thessalonians 5:24)

 

 

 

 

 

Meet and Greet

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

Welcome!
I thought I would try something new today and host a Meet and Greet to meet other bloggers and to provide an opportunity to promote your blog.

That being said, I would like to do things a little bit differently: I want everyone who comments to promote two blogs, starting with someone else’s blog and then telling a little about your own. If possible, try to mention a blogger that you know of who is either new to blogging or needs a little leg-up for building traffic to their blog.

To demonstrate, I’ll start us off:

I would love for you to check out a newcomer to WordPress: Mr. Leonard Gluck.  You can find his wonderful blog at https://detectivegluck.wordpress.com/ where you will find downloadable Power Point presentations covering a wide variety of topics in creation and some of his own origami creations.

Mr. Gluck has a knack for highlighting fascinating facts about the creatures he runs across and the spiritual lessons that he learns while studying them. His downloadable presentations are an excellent and interesting addition to any home school or for any nature lover whatever the school choice!

An avid origami artist, he has also enjoys weaving either science or Bible lessons into his paper creations. Before he started his blog, I had the privilege of videoing him teaching the steps to one of his own origami creations. I encourage you to check out Detective Gluck!

As for me… well, this is my space and you can poke around. I enjoy writing about my spiritual journey. The many Biblical references about walking with God or comparing the spiritual journey to a race resonate with me as a person who loves to walk, run, hike, or just be out in creation worshiping the Creator,  hence the name of the blog. This is about my race, including trials and triumphs as well as what God teaches me through them.

Please comment below! I look forward to hearing from you, even if it takes me some time to make it over to your blog due to a busy season of life. I will get there sooner or later – that’s a promise!

 

 

 

Migraine Chronicles: An Open Letter

~ Heather Davis ~ 1 Comment

Although this post is inspired by and dedicated to my young friend,  I offer it to anyone who struggles with chronic pain, migraine or otherwise. 

Dear J.,

One of the most deplorable things about chronic pain of any type is that it can begin to creep into your heart after a time, staining each bright new day with blotches of dreary brown and blunting the edges of enthusiasm until life seems to stretch out into one great, endless weariness.

That is the look I see in the back of your eyes these days. You’ve let the migraines become a part of who you are; accepting the pain and even defining yourself by it. My dear, believe me when I tell you this: that is a luxury you simply cannot afford.

Oh, I know it stinks. Sometimes, I think, it is important to remember that you are not alone. The triptans that are such a miracle for so many are barred to me as well. And like you, I have months that are better and months that are worse. Along the way, I’ve learned some tricks to reducing the headaches and others for simply coping with pain. Over time, I hope to share them with you.

But for today, I just want to address the darkness that now clouds your lovely blue eyes.

Will you believe me if I tell you that there are worse kinds of pain you can have besides the physical sort? It’s true. In many ways – ways that are better discussed in person on a nice long hike with fresh air in our lungs and sunlight filtering through the leaves – you are fortunate to have this particular struggle, even at your age. There are many worse things that could have happened.

While that may seem far-fetched, it is entirely true, and that is where I want to begin. Before we discuss some practical steps you can take to waging serious war against your migraines, really the first and most important battle you can undertake is the one against despair.

You simply cannot let the enemy of your soul win the field on that one.

Trust me if I say I know what I am talking about here. Physical pain has not been my only opponent on the battlefield, and so I have at least a year or two (or is that a decade or two?) of experience from which to pull. What I advise you today is pragmatic and workable, though it may seem foolish to you at first.

My challenge to you today is to praise God anyway – and not just today, but every single day this week, maybe even many times each day. All day long, if you must.

That’s the first step; that’s the challenge. Yet I do not leave you to build without tools. Interestingly enough, neither did God! One of the first steps in learning to praise God even in the midst of trials, hardship, and suffering is to understand that you are not alone in it.

Remember that He submitted to pain, Himself, and so He can and does understand. That is a small part of a great truth you can find in Hebrews 4:15-16:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16

So grab a pen and a few note cards. This is a full-on homework assignment and one I suggest you take seriously. If you recall your most recent visit to my house, you will see that I am not speaking hypocritically.  From long experience, I have simply learned that the most effective weapon in battling the darkness is the Sword of the Lord, which is the Word of God (see Ephesians 6:17).

When you cannot think of your own words of praise, borrow someone else’s! Sometimes, too, it is helpful to realize that the road of difficulty is not as lonely as the enemy would have you believe.

Not all at once, maybe, but over the next few days look up the following passages, write them on note cards or post-it notes, and stick them up wherever you are most likely to see them. Then stop and read them aloud as often as it takes.

  • Psalm 8:1-4
  • Psalm 16:5-8, 11
  • Psalm 23
  • Psalm 34:1-4
  • Psalm 43:3-5
  • Psalm 73:25-26
  • Psalm 103:1-5
  • Lamentations 3:17-26
  • 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
  • Philippians 4:4, 6-8

And don’t forget, I could literally go on all day… but I thought we’d start with just a few. 😉

With great affection,

Ms. Heather

PS-Anyone else out there, feel free to chime in. What Scriptures help you to deal with black moods or times of difficulty?

 

 

 

 

 

Migraine Chronicles: Description and Confession

~ Heather Davis ~ 15 Comments

…the pain that gnaws me takes no rest.
(Job 30:17b)

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance…
(Romans 5:3)

To kick off a discussion about migraine, I’d like to begin by making sure we are all on the same page by stating for the record that a migraine is not just a headache. It is a full-body neurological experience of which the headache pain is only the climax.

A true migraine can (but does not always) involve up to four phases: the prodrome which can occur hours or even days before; the aura which afflicts about 20-25% of migraine sufferers and usually immediately precedes the headache phase; the migraine attack which involves intense, one-sided headache pain accompanied by sensitivity to lights, sounds, smells, and/or nausea and vomiting; and the postdrome, affectionately known to many migraine sufferers as the “migraine hangover.”

And to be honest, there are a host of additional symptoms that sometimes occur ranging from visual disturbances to difficulties in speech or cognition; a list which can become disturbingly varied and long. Suffice to say that calling a migraine a headache does not quite do the experience justice.

Chronic migraine is another thing altogether. Typically, it begins with distinct episodes of migraine that, over time, progress to a relentless , one-sided headache with the potential to morph into and out of a full-blown migraine episode without warning.

From my personal experience with chronic migraine, the entire migraine sequence can become one jumbled mess, and some months are better than others with or without medication. It is from this that I can feel empathy for Job when he said, ” … the pain that gnaws at me takes no rest,” because I have been there.

How did it come to this? Hard to say. The best educated guess I have heard is that I sustained some nerve damage during a bout of viral meningitis back in 2004. Perhaps it did not help matters much that I’m a bit prone to push through pain and so was not hospitalized until the third day – and I mean three days of being unable to sleep for the pain in my head and unable to hold down so much as a tiny trickle of water from a medicine dropper.

Yeah, I know. Not too bright. But sometimes you just do what you have to do.

And today, I have to confess.

I am just coming out of two very dark weeks beginning with a particularly hideous 72-hour prodrome followed by about a 10-11 day stretch of various levels of migraine ranging from “I am functional but I may take 2 hours for a 20-minute grocery run and may wear sunglasses indoors,” to “Uncle.”

And because our enemy does like to kick us when we are down, he really laid on the temptation – and I fell for it. I freely confess that I spent an embarrassing number of days in a full-on pity party. It was pathetic, actually, and whether it can be argued that I had cause or not, sin is still sin and I must accept full responsibility for my complicity.

While my husband and I have prayed for and believe that God is able to heal me of this, we also realize that He will only do so if it serves His purposes. Sometimes I lose sight of this. In fact, I sometimes lose sight of Him and fix my eyes only on my problems, as I did last week.

That’s where today’s second verse comes in. Even though there may be pain in life, pain is not always bad. Often, God has lessons for us to learn through the pain.

What I was reminded of first and foremost was to look “to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of my faith, Who for the glory that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame,” and to “consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted” (see Hebrews 12:2-3).

Here’s the thing that my little excursion into sinful self-focus reminded me: He did not deserve to suffer. I do.

And so, today I consider Him and bow myself in reverence and humility, rejoicing that while the father of lies desires to use my pain to drive me into sin, my Father can use the same tool to bring about contemplation of His grace.

And when I contemplate the goodness and meekness of my King, I find that I can rejoice in my suffering because He has suffered, too. Even in pain, I am never alone.

I’m interested… what helps you cope with chronic pain?

 

An Unconventional Love Story

~ Heather Davis ~ 10 Comments

This piece was originally written for a friend who posted it in installments on her facebook page as a part of a month-long challenge to “Step It Up” in relationships. Today, in part because I am swamped by life after a week-long migraine experience (more on that later) and in part because I just wanted to share, here’s the story of how my husband and I met: 

My husband and I did not fall in love and get married; we married and then began to love.

It’s true.  There’s a long, ugly story about why we met, but suffice to say that when we met, I was nothing more than emotional wreckage floating about in trackless seas of sleep deprivation.  I was also not yet a follower of Jesus Christ and was a young woman with no solid ground beneath her feet, friendless and new to the city I was in.

When did I know that he was the one? On the day the pregnancy test showed unmistakably positive and the consequence of my careless and causal attitude about sex came crashing in on me – that’s when I knew.

Among the scariest moments of my life were the five or so minutes between seeing the positive test result and informing C. that he had fathered a child. Having only known him for four short weeks, I did not know how he would respond and I fully expected the words, “I’m pregnant,” to be among the last I spoke to him.

By the grace of a God I did not yet acknowledge, this man also felt an incredible weight of responsibility to the life we had begun, and so our beginning was not remarkable for romance. Even the reasons behind the act that lead to pregnancy were not romantic but merely thoughtless and rash.  Yet there we were, two people inextricably bound by our duty to a human being we had yet to meet.

Neither of us felt able to walk away and charge the bill of our choices to the account of this tiny, yet-to-be-named person. Although we did not legally marry until our son was a toddler, from that time on, we were married in all other senses. We made a commitment and it was sealed in the flesh of an embryo carrying a portion of each of our DNA in his swiftly growing body.

As for love, at first love was very much an action verb – something we did, not something we felt. I’m not only talking about the physical expression of love (which the fact of pregnancy made obvious), but about our daily behaviors. During this time, love was merely a choice; something we acted on not because of but rather despite our feelings.

Through a process of dying to our dreams and taking up the mantle of responsibility and necessity, God got both of our attention. One by one, we both repented of our sin and trusted in Christ for salvation, and salvation gave meaning and reason to our action-verb love.

Through tiring years of learning to be a family and of three almost back-to-back babies, we learned some important lessons about choosing to love. We learned to love intentionally no matter how we felt and to make time for each other no matter what. We learned to listen when the other talked, to bring our worries or our hurt to the table in a way that was respectful and did not set off an argument. We learned how to speak gently and in a way that was not inflammatory or accusing. We built a life on the practical elements of love.

Over fifteen years have passed since the night I held that pregnancy test and watched as the consequences of my irresponsible lifestyle were summed up in two distinct blue lines. We have three wonderful kids ages 12 to 15. Blessedly, both of our emotions have healed and caught up with our actions and I can say that I am now truly in love with my husband.

Would I trade all the practicality and drudgery of the last 15 years for a wild, romantic adventure? Not a chance.

You see, we are in this thing for the long haul, and those early lessons in actively loving despite a lack of the emotional equivalent laid a foundation for true love that is as beautiful as it is practical.

There is no magic formula for genuine love, just as there is no magic pill for physical fitness. Both love and fitness involve hard work and sacrifice. True and lasting love also requires a healthy portion of putting the other person’s needs above your own, just as Philippians 2:3 commands.

Just like perseverance in working out, perseverance in love can be challenging. You will not always feel like hitting the gym, just as you will not always feel “in love” with your spouse. However, the rewards of sticking it out and seeing it through in both cases are well worth every ounce of hardship and sacrifice.  For my part, by the grace of God, I look forward to growing old with the man who is my husband and my very best friend.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.
(Psalms 86:5)