repentance

Things of the Spirit: Confession

~ Heather Davis ~ 17 Comments

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5

How do you practice this? What practices do you use to place your mind on the things of the Spirit?

Our church is reading through Romans together and the above question was asked on social media yesterday. Today I hope to do my best to answer succinctly (for me, that is – haha!).

Even before I read the post yesterday, I devoted some thought to this very question. And true to His glorious nature, God has provided me with an excellent example by using… me.

Specifically, He has pointed out my sin to me and provided the chance to confess.

So how do I place my mind on things of the Spirit? My answer is both simple and complex.

Simple because I don’t. My mind roves far and wide into terrain it has no business traversing. However, what I have done – and continually do to this very hour – is part of the complex answer.

First and foremost, I continually ask the Lord not to allow me to remain comfortable in sin. I pray He will give me true sorrow for my sin and genuine repentance.

Because He is faithful, He always does. Always – whether I like it or not at the moment (and I assure you, I am not always thrilled to be on the receiving end of discipline even though I find I am thankful later on).

Secondly, I spend time with Him every single day. I read his Word. I memorize it and meditate on it. I ask Him to show me my error and to bring me guidance through the Word.

And He does, because He is a good Father.

As I read this morning, several passages seized my attention. For example:

“Their throat is an open grave… The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
(Romans 3:13-14)

Aaaannndd… in reading, I find I am driven to confess. My mouth is far too often full of curses and bitterness. Take yesterday, for example…

I was talking to a friend, commiserating on some “delights” we share involving chronic pain and the feelings of frustration and depression which commonly accompany it. OK, perhaps I ought to have rejoiced in my suffering (Romans 5:3), but I have a much more unattractive sin to confess.

In the course of conversation, I switched gears and complained about something else entirely. I allowed a hurt from the past to well up as bitter words once again, and I fell far short of the glory of God. Very, very far.

So today, I not only confess (and my friend, if you read this, you know who you are! I am sorry!!) – I also repent. I want to reject my bitterness and any grudge and move forward into humble obedience to the One who died to set me free.

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.
(Romans 6:3, 8)

I want to die to my old nature. But to do so, I find I must not only put to death my old nature, I need to keep putting it to death.
For if you live according to your old nature, you will certainly die; but if, by the Spirit, you keep putting to death the practices of the body, you will live.
Romans 8:13, CJB

I need to continually renew my mind by re-focusing on the goodness of God and recognizing my own weakness and folly. I must be humble enough to realize I am not exempt from sin, especially when I find myself highlighting someone else’s less pleasing habits…

When others hurt me, I am driven to recognize many situations where I have been the one inflicting hurt. I need constant reminders such as this – reminders than I am no better than the one(s) who hurt me.

In so doing, I find it easier not only to repent but to forgive.

But for all of this, I need God. His Spirit living within me. His guidance, His Word of Truth, His correction, His faithfulness.

Yet I must also cooperate with Him, even when cooperation hurts or is humiliating. Even when it means publicly confessing yet another failure to tame the restless evil of my tongue.

In the end, I do all of this because He is worth every single ounce of suffering, humiliation, and even injustice I may experience. After all, He suffered all this and more for me.

If I truly love Him,  how can I believe I should not suffer the same for Him? Particularly when I am at fault!

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God…
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
(Romans 8:14, 16-17)
Lord God, renew my mind and heart! All that I am, I submit to You and ask You to set my mind on Your Spirit and not on the folly of my own weak nature, amen.

Romans – Creature Worship

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

Romans 1:16-32

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

(Romans 1:24-25)

It’s a simple matter too look at this passage and dismiss it entirely as irrelevant. After all, there are no little stone gods nor candlelit alcoves in honor of carved images in my house.

And yet I find I am not so innocent after all.

When I examine my life in the light of the Word of God, I have to confess there are times when I have “worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator:” a creature named Heather Davis.

This self-worship is called “pride” and it is detestable to a holy God – a putting of self in His rightful place.

With this in mind, as I read verse 18, I found not a condemnation of all those godless and wicked people out there in the world, but a warning that my life must not suppress the truth.

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.
(Romans 1:18)

Like Paul, I need to live as one who is not ashamed of the Good News, keeping in mind the fact that my role is one of immense and grave privilege. I am an ambassador for the King of kings and Lord of lords. As such, the way I live my life reflects Him, and if I live for myself, it reflects him inaccurately.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.
(Romans 1:28)

Moving on to verse 28, I have to ask myself: How does this apply to me? It is of no use to read this on behalf of others only. Have I lived so the world can know I not only consider God worth knowing, I consider Him worth loving and obeying? Or do I put my own comfort, desires, or preferences in a position of higher authority than His will?

These are sobering questions. As I read on, I find I have been envious. I have been guilty of both slander and gossip, of acting maliciously, of foolishness and arrogance. I have been faithless.

As much as I would like to declare these are all sins from my distant past, I must be honest. I have been guilty of many of them in recent days.

And I am sorry. Truly, genuinely sorry. Not because of the people I have hurt, though I am sorry for them as well. Most of all, I am sorry for tarnishing the good Name of my Creator.

I do not applaud these things – not in me, not in others. Instead, I ask each day for the Lord to open my eyes to them in myself. My desire and intense longing is to walk humbly before my God, worship Him as God and dying to that twisted old creature called self.

Interestingly enough, all of my failures and crimes really only prove the truth of the basic tenants of my faith.

I am a sinner, incapable of saving myself. I am in need of a Savior, and when I fall, I cling to Him. I am thankful for Him not because I am so wonderful, but because I am so wretched.

Understanding this, how could I fail to worship such a merciful and magnificent Creator?

He must increase, and I must decrease!

Lord, have Your way in me. Forgive my every act of self- aggrandizement and change my life to one lived fully for You. May I be a tool useful to You, never suppressing Your Truth but living it out in heartfelt humility and joy in Your salvation, amen.

Broken and Restored

~ Heather Davis ~ 7 Comments

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
(Psalms 51:4)

Ah, the tale of David and Bathsheba. This story from 2 Samuel 11 and 12 is certainly not rated G…

But if you’re wondering why I bring it up after opening with a verse from Psalm 51, it’s because this unseemly saga is actually the back story of the psalm.

Here’s the nickel version:

At some point during David’s reign over Israel, his troops were off to war. For some reason, he was not with them but instead was walking on his rooftop (think of a structure more like a balcony, not peaked roofs or shingles). From this vantage point, he saw a beautiful woman bathing.

Though he knew she was the wife of one of his soldiers – a man who was out fighting for his king – David sent for her. And impregnated her.

Attempting to cover his indiscretion up, he brought her husband home from battle, got him drunk, and tried to entice him to go home and sleep with his wife. When the honorable man refused because his fellow warriors were still out in the field, David instead conspired to have him killed and make it look like he was merely a casualty of war.

Lovely story, isn’t it?

Eventually, David was confronted with his sin and he did repent. But there were consequences. Many people suffered for this one selfish act of lust – including King David himself.

And this is what I wanted to share from my reading of Psalm 51 today. Notice in verse 4, David cries out to God, “Against you and you only have I sinned…”

I don’t know about you, but at first glance, this claim seems a trifle insensitive. After all, adultery was committed (and possibly rape, though we aren’t told whether or not she went willingly), a man was murdered, a child died, and much later, a kingdom was torn apart by a prince’s rebellion.

The collateral damage from the king’s evil choices was enormous.

Nevertheless, he did write truth. His sin was primarily against his Creator.

Without fail, sin and its consequences wreak destruction, often bringing pain and devastation to our own lives and the lives of others. Despite this fact, the offence is first and foremost against the One who gave us life.

No matter who suffers for it, sin is ultimately between each one of us and our Creator.

When I began to first understand this concept, it was both the most freeing and the most frightening thing I had learned.

Freeing because it means that whoever may hurt me, no matter how close they are to me or how grievous the wound they inflict, it really has little to do with me at all. Each person’s sin is a matter which will be addressed by God – in His time and in His way. And since I know He is a just Judge, I do not have to worry about vengeance. I only have to manage my response – including making sure I do not repay sin with more sin.

Because of this – and because of the enormity of forgiveness I have received – this fact makes forgiveness much easier for me.

For the same reasons, it is also frightening because it means whatever sin I commit is between me and the Almighty Creator. And once again, because He is a just Judge, He will see justice done.

However…

The most amazing part is, God actually exacted the penalty for my sin – for all our sins – from His Son. Justice has been done, and in place of my well-earned destruction, I am instead offered forgiveness and eternal life. We all are.

No matter how horrendous our crimes have been, we can receive forgiveness. This fact, too, makes forgiving others much easier.

But first, there must be a true heart change which begins with a truly broken heart. It is called repentance. 

To be honest, if we truly see the gravity of what it is the Lord Yeshua (Jesus) did on our behalf; if we truly feel the loathsomeness of our rebellion against the One who created and loves us, our hearts will break. Like David, we will find out the truth behind these words:

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
(Psalms 51:17)

And once we feel honest sorrow and begin to despise our sin, longing to imitate our Father instead; once we understand the rift our crimes have created between us and the One who loves us so much, He offered Himself as ransom in order to purchase our freedom from sin –  well, David’s agonized plea pretty well sums up the appropriate result of this understanding:

Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
(Psalms 51:9-12)

Not a bad prayer to start our year with, eh?

 

Inglorious

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
(James 1:14-15)

If ever there was a flowering plant designed with the busy (or lazy) gardener in mind, the morning glory may well be it.

As a child, I always admired the perpetual presence of purple flowers adorning a remnant of fencing left between my grandparents’ property and that of their neighbors. When my children were small, I even bought a packets of morning glory and sunflower seeds after reading about a fun-sounding, natural “clubhouse” that could be planted – the sunflowers serving as the frame and morning glories filling in for walls and roof. Somehow, that year, I never actually got around to it, very possibly because my children were small…

So the first year I saw a morning glory growing near my vegetable garden, I did not MG008mind. The purple trumpets of flower and the cheerful, heart-shaped or deeply lobed leaves seemed a very attractive addition.

Little did I know how I would later rue the moment I let the thing grow.

One busy spring and summer, my family ended up traveling much more often than usual and so I had little time to devote to weeding. Upon returning from one of our trips, I walked out to check on the progress of my vegetables and was rather surprised to find that, in our absence, the tall and majestic rows of popcorn were festooned in green frocks of dense, heart-shaped segments embellished here and there with deceptively delicate-looking purple and blue blooms all nodding at me in mock friendliness as they effectively choked out the life of my plants, diminishing my harvest.

MG010

From that summer on, most of what little time I have for gardening has been spent stalking and uprooting morning glory sprouts. To my utter dismay, the plant reseeds itself with prolific, almost furious abundance.

MG006Every time I take the short hike from house to garden, I keep an eye open for the little seed leaves shaped like old-fashioned ladies’ bloomers that pop up by the zillions. Despite my best efforts to scour the area thoroughly, those treacherously innocuous-seeming hearts pop up apparently the moment my back is turned, sending out their coiling tendrils to snare and suffocate the very plants I try to nurture.

As I was ripping out fistfuls of the demonically attractive vines the other day, it occurred to me that most sin is a good deal like the morning glory.

MG007

Sin, too, appears attractive at the beginning. As it grows, it can also appear friendly-looking, even desirable. At times, we sow the seeds of sin with eager anticipation, looking forward to some pleasure or indulgence that seems benign, unlikely to harm anyone but ourselves.

At other times, sin grows from neglect. We see it sprouting up in our hearts, but either we are too apathetic or too busy to care. Perhaps, even, one tiny pair of cotelydons thrusting themselves up through the soil of our hearts seems to pose no threat. After all, it is a very small, even an insignificant thing.

 

 

MG009Yet, left to its own devices, sin also grows quickly to overwhelming proportions. It, too, sends dainty tendrils snaking through the landscape of our hearts and minds, catching hold of those things we have purposefully sown and choking them, diminishing the harvest of good and useful fruit. Fully grown, it mocks us with the very flower of what we once desired; the very thing we once thought beautiful now nodding at us scornfully from every corner and niche. And sin, too, is prolific in its reseeding.

Just as I wage war with the morning glories in my vegetable garden, I find that identifying and uprooting sin in my heart is a never-ending task. Yet I give thanks to my Lord because He has not left me to this battle blind and empty-handed.

Though I may be prone to overlook a shoot here or a shrub there, the Light of the World illuminates the shadowy places in my heart, exposing sin in various stages of growth.

And while my efforts at defeating the virulent growth fall short, the only good and perfect Gardener is able to do what I cannot – ripping out the twisted vines by their roots, killing even my desire for them, and pruning the sickly, undernourished plantings of righteousness that are left behind so that they may once again bear fruit for the glory of the King.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
(Romans 7:24-25a)

Amen!

A Prayer of Repentance: Great is Your Faithfulness

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

“O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules…

O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy.

O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act…”
(Daniel 9:4b -5, 18-19a)

Most High God, Creator of all things both visible and unseen, Refuge for Your people and wise and just Judge, You alone are good. To You belongs all manner of praise and honor. You are faithful and Your lovingkindness is without end. I rejoice in You today, for no matter what circumstances may lie in my future, You are enough and Your grace is sufficient for me.

But Lord my Strength, I also weep before You today for my weakness and the weakness of my people. I come to the Throne of Grace empty-handed, for I have nothing to offer the Almighty but my confession. Even my most noble deeds are stained and soiled by selfishness and pride.  To my shame, my mouth utters complaints that expose my unbelief and do not magnify the incredible benevolence of my God.

And my nation, O King of kings; my nation is reeling and staggering from the effects of a huge and horrible malignancy. My countrymen are consumed by our own sin. Like lepers, we can see the ravages of decay yet we are numb to the pain. Sadly, we are even in denial of the extent of the damage, for we have called what is evil, “good” and what is good, “evil” and reviled and ridiculed those who reject confusion and embrace purity and truth.

As a nation, our faces no longer burn with shame but instead we delight in debauchery and make it a source of entertainment, casually exploiting others for that which does not satisfy but only increases a peculiar, wasting hunger. We have cast off all inhibitions, even rejecting common sense and reason in favor of feelings and perceptions.

With pride grown grotesquely bloated, we have believed our foolishness to be evidence of our great intellect and mocked the very God who gave us life. We have exchanged Your truth for a lie and we worship our selves along with our own mad notions rather than the Creator of life.

What was formed in hopes of a “more perfect Union” has become a disunion. My race, the human race, has become impulsive in our fears and prejudices and have divided ourselves up into groups bordered by nothing more than economic and cosmetic differences. We seem to live fueled by rage, harboring grudges and licking our wounds instead of extending kindness and forgiveness. Rather than bear with others patiently, we jostle and jockey for positions as silly as being the first in line at the next streetlight.

We have attempted to rationalize evil by sanitizing the words we use to speak of it and have attempted to escape the consequences of our deeds by eliminating or ignoring them. Just as Israel did, we have sacrificed our children to worship prosperity, prostituting ourselves to the gods of wealth, convenience, entertainment, and comfort.

We have dressed ourselves in the garments of our success, yet we cannot see that they are mere tatters, soiled by the stench of our own putrefaction.

In all this and so much more, we have sinned and fallen far short of Your grace. And yet, Lord, I do not believe the sickness and folly of this nation in which I sojourn is beyond hope. Your grace is sufficient even for this great burden of guilt.

In 2 Chronicles 7:14, You declared to Israel:

…if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

I believe You, my Lord.

I repent of my own wickedness, of my critical and unforgiving nature, of my careless words and my unbelief. On behalf of the waywardness and wickedness of my nation, I repent as well and plead with You on behalf of those who have been blinded and hardened by the deceit of our ancient enemy.

As I lift up my supplication to You, I know I do not pray alone. Even so, O Lord, hear the cry of Your people! Oh Lord, forgive! Oh Lord, save!

Send Your Holy Spirit in full force, piercing the hearts of this nation, healing the blindness and opening many eyes to see Your Truth, replacing numb and stony hearts with vulnerable hearts of flesh that ache with the pain of contrition.

Bring about a flood of compassion for others, of mercy and tenderness for those who hurt, of zeal for Your Kingdom, and of hunger for Your truth.

Teach our hearts to forgive the little slights we have endured because of the immensity of what You have forgiven us. What a gift You offer in Jesus! May the eyes of many, many enslaved souls be open to see the wonder of His sacrifice and the riches of Your grace. How astonishing that we who deserve dishonor, contempt, and death have been offered forgiveness, mercy, and everlasting life!

Then, O Lord, as many come before the Throne of Grace in true repentance, replace our leper’s rags with garments of praise. Place a new song in our mouths and teach us to magnify Your name together, opening our lips in praise for the marvel of our Salvation and for love of our Savior.

No matter what the future holds for our nation, may it be that we soon see an influx of new sheep to Your flock, and may we welcome them with tears and shouts of joy.

For those who are in Christ already, we ask that You increase our thirst for You, O Living Water. We confess our distraction and our spiritual lethargy and ask You to renew the joy of our salvation. Renew our passion and our fervor for Your Kingdom.

Fount of Living Water, fill Your people to overflowing, drowning out the chattering lies of our enemy in a thunderous cascade of Your righteousness. Help us to hear only Your voice, our Good Shepherd, and compel us to obey swiftly with eager diligence.

As a nation, I pray that You will humble our hearts and bring us to our knees in gratitude for the work that Jesus has completed on the cross. Turn our mocking into shouts of adoration and praise. Let us magnify You, our God! Restore that which is broken, cut away the festering disease, and heal our land.

And then, O Gracious Redeemer, restore us to Yourself that we may be fully restored. Even if we should wait weeks, years, decades — even lifetimes — remind us that Your timing that is perfect. May we never doubt Your goodness nor waver in trust, for what You have begun You will surely bring to pass.

Great is Your faithfulness;  even when we falter in unbelief, You are steadfast and Your mercies are new each morning. O Lord, give strength to Your people! Amen.

sunrise003

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:21-24

 

What the Locust Devoured

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. ”
(Joe 2:25)

Ironically, as I sit to type some thoughts on this passage, my kitchen table is being inundated with small, winged insects of some sort. How they got into my house, I do not know; however, I must assume that this sudden abundance of wildlife is one of the perks of living in a house that is nearly twenty years old. At least they are better companions than the skunk who rather memorably visited our duct work one February in the predawn hours…

At any rate, I find great comfort in the somewhat unusual promise of Joel 2:25. Granted, I am not a farmer and my entire livelihood or survival does not rest on whether or not my granaries are full for the winter. However, in a metaphorical sense, I have had a very valuable resource consumed by things no less devastating and greedy than locusts. What I lost was not food but time.

I am no longer a young woman. In fact, the bulk of my youthful years are those that I now lament, the ones devoured by ridiculous and wanton waste. I am reminded of the gloriously long stretches of absolutely free time that I squandered back in those days, and I am particularly reminded of them when I try to squeeze in an article or work on a seemingly endless novel in the brief, often stolen spaces of time when my family is all occupied with other things and the housework can wait a bit.

But the worst of it is when I think of all the time I used to have in which I could have been studying my Bible, learning more and more of my Lord and His ways. Had I been properly aligned, I might have already achieved mastery in Hebrew and possibly even Greek and been able to read my Lord’s words in the languages in which they were originally penned. As it is now, the study of Hebrew is one step forward and forty-two back while Greek still remains… well, it’s all Greek to me.

But I persevere because I know that when my desires are to know more of my King, He will fulfill them. The locusts may have consumed my best years, but He will restore them in some fashion or another. Indeed, He has already begun.

But the awakening of knowledge of the Lord did not start with mere wanting on my part. It began, just as the promise in verse 25 begins, with repentance. Let’s look back a few lines in chapter 2 of Joel:

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments. “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. . .” Joel 2:12-13

I would never  expect my God to restore anything  which I still look upon fondly. If I were to look at the sins of my youth with an amused shrug, I do not believe He would have so quickly filled what was lacking in my understanding of Him and of His Kingdom.  It was my crushing sorrow, my mourning for the waste of my youth, and my turning away from those things in horror and loathing and turning fully to Him that began the restoration.

I am grateful that He abounds in steadfast love, that He is gracious and merciful. And with each passing year, I am thankful that He continues to increase my desire for Him and to open my eyes and humble my heart with the light of His Word. For my greatest longing is to accurately portray Him and fully experience Him, to live as a fully surrendered servant of Christ; in short, to die to myself and live for Christ.

Not that I have obtained it, but I press on to make it my own. And in my spiritual hunger, I am sincerely thankful that the King of kings continues to restore the years the locust has eaten.

After Contrition: Psalm 119:25-32

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Psalm 119:25-32

How’s the memory work going so far? Don’t worry if you have fallen behind or simply cannot get the psalm to stick. This isn’t a contest, just a chance to let God’s Word percolate in our minds and hearts. Enjoy it!

Speaking of enjoyment, that is precisely what I have been praying for as I memorize this psalm: true enjoyment of God’s word. In treasuring the Word, I find my eyes are opened more and more as I go.

In my last post, I discussed one of the lies Satan uses to entrap people: using shame to drive them into hiding from God. However, that is not his only trick.  They are innumerable, truly, but before we move on I would like to touch on the lie that I believe is even more effective than shame today.  In a nutshell, it is the lie of complacency: that what God says is sin is not really sin.

In my own life and long before I was ashamed of my sin, I believed that sin was relegated to the Charles Mansons and the Jeffery Dahmers of the world — the gruesome and horrible. I did not recognize simple things like my own pride as sinful. In fact, I didn’t believe I had anything to worry about at all.

This is one of the Deceiver’s greatest lies; if he can catch a person before shame (which, for him, can be dangerously close to contrition), he can convince that person that what God calls “sin” is really just a choice, a lifestyle, a habit… anything but a crime against their Creator.

When I was young, I swallowed this lie readily.  I spent my twenties with this particular hook firmly embedded, and I literally had to allow God to tear it free when I finally surrendered to Him because I was well and truly captured.

I embraced a humanist worldview and did what I wanted, accepting no standard for right and wrong save the one I made up for myself. Like all such standards, mine  fluctuated as often as I needed it to in order to justify my actions. I often measured my actions against other people: “Well, I may not be a great person, but I’m not as bad as so-and-so.”

Just before God called me out of the darkness, I was set free from this lie only to be briefly imprisoned by the first trap we discussed: shame. Once I understood the truth of sin, I was so filled with remorse and self-loathing that I gave up on  trying to justify and simply took risks hoping that some accident would end what I lacked the courage to end of my own accord.

Then I met God, and my world was undone. I was overwhelmed by His forgiveness, and while the deceiver strove to keep me ensnared in shame, my gracious Lord set this captive free. Like David, I chose the way of faithfulness and set His rules before me. They are still my map for this journey, the necessary instruction I need so that I do not wander off the narrow path and become lost.

In this stanza, David asks that he may be given life through the Word of God after his grief has been expressed. For us, too, once sorrow has brought us to a place of confession, we can find life in the Word. As I learned in my late twenties, once contrition has yielded a properly humbled and teachable heart, the work of turning away from sin and turning toward God begins.

This will be a life-long work, a process known as “sanctification,” and there will be many turnings from sin as we misstep and stumble during our trek on the narrow path.  As Charles Spurgeon points out in his Morning and Evening Devotions, “Sincere repentance is continual. Believers repent until their dying day.”

As God had to show me,  much of repentance is the putting away of deceptions. In our psalm, I find it interesting that David attributes the work of putting aside false ways to God, but the choice to do so is his own. He knows he needs saving, and that only his Savior can complete this work.

Though we may try by human effort to resist temptation, it is the transforming power of God’s grace that will finally bring victory. He alone can really put our false ways to death.  Our work is in choosing.

But how?  David writes, “…I have set Your rules before me. I will cling to Your testimonies; let me not be put to shame!”

When the devil accuses and shames or when he seeks to lull us into a drifting spiritual slumber, may it be that we cling to the testimonies of God. May the evil one never ridicule us, for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, nor may he ever pacify us into a false sense of security.

May we always praise the One we can ask for help in putting false ways far from us. May it be that we, too, run in the way of His commandments with large and expansive hearts!

Freedom in Forgiveness

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
Psalms 51:4

**I encourage you to read all of Psalm 51 today before reading further.**

The first time I truly grasped the sentiment penned by David in Psalm 51: 4 was also the first time I tasted the freedom that Christ died to provide.  But first, I experienced a heart-rending grief; the kind of grief that produced repentance, leading me to a salvation without regret (2 Cor. 7:10).

In all honestly, my heart was not crushed until I truly began to fathom Who God is and to love Him.  Naturally, I also had to understand what sin was before I could understand the need to repent. Still, until I truly revered Him, all my understanding of sin was merely intellectual assent. Not until my love for God caused me grief at the damage my sin (even the “tiny,” private ones) did between us did I experience the searing pain of a “broken and contrite heart.”  Once I did, I could share in David’s heart-felt plea: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” (Psalms 51:1).

If my sorrow over sin was crushing because of my love and appreciation for the mercy of God, how much more intense was the joy when I comprehended the forgiveness of God through the sacrifice of the Son! How much more passionately do I now worship Him and how ardent my praise and elation at  the undeserved pardon I have received now that He has made me aware of sin’s cost  — and of His own willingness to pay it!]

What a deterrent that has been to me in my struggles against sin, and how closely do I share David’s sorrow on those sad occasions when I again cloak my heart in deception and take up the deadly ways of the old, worldly self. How strongly I now desire to grow so close to my Lord that the temptations of this world appear stale and tasteless!

As if that priceless freedom from sin borne of a repentant heart wasn’t enough, I also found embedded within the concept a second, almost secret freedom; a freedom in my relationships to others. I found that I was able to forgive more freely not only because of the forgiveness that had been extended to me, but also because of the simple fact that the sin of others has nothing to do with me.

And that, my friends, is where this useful freedom lies. I learned that if sin can be committed against God alone, than I am free to allow God alone to deal with that sin. Even if I am hurt as a consequence, all I need to do is take my pain to God and allow Him to heal it.  I cannot claim retribution for sins committed against me for the simple fact that sin cannot be committed against me.

This does not mean I do not recognize sin: adultery is adultery whether it is in action or thought; lying is lying, thievery is thievery, and so on.   Nor does it mean that I am never hurt by others. However by understanding that if I am stolen from, the sin is actually committed against God, well…  I suppose I find it easier to let go of my grievance when I know that the transgressor is in far more just and stern hands that my own.

At such times,  I now feel sorrow for the transgressor;  now that I can take myself out of the equation, so to speak.  There is no sin which affects me that is worse than any I have committed and afflicted others by; I am a fellow transgressor. And so, instead of anger against a slight, when my mind is rightly focused on the God of my Salvation I find I am freed to pray that the person who hurt me will also experience the grief of their sin, the cleansing pain of repentance, and the joy of being restored to a right relationship with the Almighty God.

Then, perhaps, we can both lift up our voices in praise!