redemption

Talk about Transformation: Jacob

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment
This one is for the sisters who are going through Warren W. Wiersbe’s devotional, Becoming New together.

Day 15 of Wiersbe’s book touches on the life of Jacob, but I would encourage each one of you to read the patriarch’s entire story from his birth recorded in Genesis 25 at least through the death of his father Isaac at the end of Genesis 35. You can read it all in less than half an hour, and in this season of focusing on transformation, there’s a lot to be learned about the power of our gracious God from the life of this hesitant father of our faith.

Living up to His Name

At birth, Jacob was holding his brother’s heel and so was named Jacob1, (Hebrew: יַעֲקֹב ; transliterated Ya’akov). It wasn’t a particularly flattering name to give to a baby. Most Bibles have a note stating the name means “supplanter,” which seems a little odd. However, a brief word study reveals why. The word picture here is of a person seizing another by the heel, literally tripping them up in order to restrain, deceive, outwit, or by other nefarious means take their place.

And indeed, the young man lived up to his name. He tripped up his elder brother Esau twice while they were young men. First, he took advantage of Esau’s exhaustion (and an apparently cavalier attitude toward the traditional birthrights given to the firstborn son) by withholding a bowl of stew until Esau promised to sell his birthright to his younger twin for food2.

But Jacob didn’t stop there. At his mother’s urging, he also stole his brother’s blessing from their father by listening to the voice of his mother (not the first time a man fell by obeying the voice of a woman – there’s a lesson in this for us, ladies). This time, Jacob lied to his father, posing as Esau and taking great measures to deceive the blind old man for the sake of taking Esau’s place of prominence in their father’s pronouncement of blessing3.

Skeptics R Us

As if his conniving and scheming to take his brother’s place wasn’t enough, the young Jacob also shows signs of being a skeptic. Rather than associating himself with the Almighty, for years he refers to God as “the Lord your God4” (when talking with his father) or “the God of my father.5”

Sadly, his skepticism isn’t based on anything but hubris. Jacob continued to avoid associating Himself too closely with God even after the Lord sent him a dream proclaiming Himself to He Who Supplants, even reiterating the covenant He made with Abraham and Isaac to the rascally Jacob6.

And did our antihero man up and submit to the Almighty who was promising him such astonishing mercy despite his life of lies? No! Instead, he set up the rock he’d used as a pillow (ouch) and made a provisional promise to the Most High God. “If God will do thus and so for me, then I will deign to call Him my God.7”

It’s all quite humorous until we look deeply at our own motives, isn’t it? When have we also laid conditions on our Creator, pledging our fidelity to Him in exchange for prosperity or something else we desire? As if we have anything to offer the One who holds all things together; as if He needed us at all! But I digress… back to Jacob.

Reaping What Was Sown

Jacob travels on and falls head-over-heels for the lovely Rachel, hiring himself out to her father Laban for seven years in exchange for her hand in marriage8. But the crafty Laban has other plans – in the dark of the wedding night, he veils his older and plainer daughter Leah and sends her into the marriage tent in place of her sister9. Because wine flowed freely at wedding banquets and the only light sources were the stars and fires, it isn’t until morning that Jacob realized he’d been deceived. Oh, what goes around comes around! And it keeps coming.

Jacob promises Laban another seven years of service in exchange for his beloved Rachel. Thus, his household is established on a sisterly rivalry that could not have been pleasant10.

Let me take an aside to point out a fact: many non-believers will use this example (and others) to say “biblical marriage” includes sister-wives and their maidservants; in short, polygamy. However, if one actually reads the words of the text, what we see is that God used the sin of Jacob for His greater plan while simultaneously meting out the consequences of Jacob’s sin. The rivalry and bitterness of Jacob’s wives did yield a household of peace and joy. God did not bless these choices, but He did redeem them. That’s what He does. Speaking of redemption, let’s go back to Jacob.

Even in this mess of being used and tricked by Laban, God speaks to Jacob and offers him guidance11 – even though we have yet to see Jacob call God anything other than the God of his ancestors or build a single altar to worship the Lord (I don’t think a single stone and a conditional pledge counts as worship). And Laban continues to trick Jacob by attempting to circumvent his request for the speckled and spotted flocks12.

But God’s plan cannot be circumvented. His purposes are bigger than Jacob and his bickering wives, bigger than the supplanter and his supplanter, and bigger even than all of their sin. God’s plan stretches through this debacle to establish the Nation of Isreal through whom the Messiah would one day come… but that is much later.

Becoming Broken

Jacob spent twenty years reaping the discord he sowed in his childhood home, and finally he was able to break free from Laban. On his journey to return to his homeland, the bald truth of what he did to Esau finally hits him. Fear of reprisal from the brother he tripped up and replaced seizes him, and the man finally shows a little humility.13

And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children (Genesis 32:9-11).

For the first time, we see Jacob in a posture of understanding that the blessings he schemed for are not blessings he deserves. His heart his humbled, even if it is humbled out of mere self-preservation.

And that night, he wrestles with God. It isn’t until after the wrestling match, which resulted in a permanent physical disability, that Jacob finally builds a proper alter and worships the Living God14. It took time, consequences, suffering, and fear, but Jacob finally worships the God who graciously allows him to become a part of the lineage of His Messiah, through whom God would offer redemption to the whole world.

There’s much more to Jacob’s story than this overview. His wife Rachel stole her father’s household gods, and Jacob doesn’t rid his own household of this abomination until after the rape of his daughter Dinah and his sons’ over-the-top revenge.

My point? Jacob was not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination. Yet he was a man transformed by God. What we see in Jacob is a solid reminder of the astonishing mercy and renewing power of our Living and Loving God. He uses our own bad choices to humble us, and yet there is no one out of reach of His redeeming grace.  

  1. Genesis 25:26 ↩︎
  2. Genesis 25:29-34 ↩︎
  3. Genesis 27 ↩︎
  4. Genesis 27:20 ↩︎
  5. Genesis 31:5, et al ↩︎
  6. Genesis 28:10-15 ↩︎
  7. Genesis 28:20-21 ↩︎
  8. Genesis 29:16-19 ↩︎
  9. Genesis 29:22-25 ↩︎
  10. Genesis 29-30 ↩︎
  11. Genesis 31:10-13 ↩︎
  12. Genesis 30:34-36 ↩︎
  13. Genesis 32:6-12 ↩︎
  14. Genesis 33:20 ↩︎

Slave No More

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments


For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death.

Romans 6:20–21 (ESV)

A bit ago, a young man I admire made a social media post featuring a photo of a modern novel and verbiage indicating he couldn’t put it down. Always up for a good read, I mentally earmarked the book and snagged a copy before a little getaway.

The first paragraph of the book and its first sentence share dual primacy – a pleasant beginning for one who hungers for meaty sentences and an author who can carry a complex thought from initial capital through commas & semicolons, direct & indirect objects, lists, harmonizing subjects & verbs, delectable modifiers, and well-fleshed clauses all the way through to a satisfying conclusion ending in appropriate punctuation.

The book and I were off to a good start.

Then too much reality crept into the story, bringing with it the inevitable carnal brutality of a world under the curse. Admittedly, the dialog did fit the themes of 1990s-era video gamers and programmers, but as the plot progressed from two kids finding community around an old game console in a hospital to the female lead finding herself in an affair with an older (and married) man, I found myself quite able to put the book down.

Each time I laid it down, I grew more reluctant to pick it up again until I finally gave up about a third of the way in and dropped it into the library’s after-hours collection.

In fairness, the novel is well written. There are some excellent word pictures, a stark exploration of human relationships, and a unique backdrop built on the progression of video games. But I didn’t make it into the novel’s turn of the century.

So why did I find this novel – well written by my own admission – so put-downable? I believe it hit far too close to home for me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t relate to the characters; it was that the female character, despite having both the wealth and direction I lacked in my youth, struck a chord or two of familiarity. She was profoundly lost.

In fact, all the lead characters were lost. The college professor was not only lost but predatory, reminding me eerily of a time in young adulthood when I made an easy mark for a much older man – who just so happened to be into PC gaming. In the late 1990s, I even had a part to play in co-running a BBS (bulletin board system) running a multi-player Doom game over dial-up on additional phone lines run to my rental house. Close to home indeed.

The real-life version of the older man was also controlling, though much older and less appealing than the fictional character. Instead, he is part of the reason I never finished college and all of the reason the smells of whiskey and weed or the sound of a modem handshake make my stomach seize.

In fact, the book reminded me of far too many things of which I am now ashamed; things I long to impart to this younger generation filled with their guileless wonder at the complexity of life and relationships and the novelty of playing with fire, even if only vicariously. To each new generation, the world is new and interesting and relatively harmless – until it is not.

How can I relate this? There is no poetry wrought in the chains of sin, no charm in the Christless human condition, no velvet allure to the darkness. Without God, there is only need and hopelessness and a striving after the wind.

All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:7–9 (ESV)

Perhaps redemption came in the novel. Perhaps the characters found hope outside of human love and mere friendship or success. Perhaps. But while the old memories it dredged up are helpful to remind me what I was saved from, I found more sorrow in the pages of the novel than beauty or interest.

I’m incredibly thankful to be free of that clutching, devouring darkness. What an indescribable gift to belong to the Light of the World who gives goodness, joy, and hope in place of ashes and chains! I can only pray for others to find the Way and follow it and be faithful to share how the Great Redeemer found me wearing slave’s shackles and set me free.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Romans 7:24–25 (ESV)

Can a Corpse Be Pleasing?

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

I have a crazy question for you: has a corpse every done anything you find pleasing?

Humor me for a minute. I’ve been thinking about how the Scriptures teach that we are dead in sin. Romans 6:23 tells us the wages of sin is death – literally, we earn death by sinning – but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Other Scriptures talk about it too – Ephesians 2 starts off by telling us we were dead in our trespasses and sins and Romans 8 contrasts walking by the Spirit of God and walking in the death of sin, and so on.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins. . .

Ephesians 2:1

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. . . But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

Romans 8:6, 10

We are spiritual corpses without Christ; the literal walking dead. So that’s been on my mind; then on Sunday, our pastor was preaching from John 3 and talked about Nicodemus, the Pharisee and ruler. This man probably knew the Tanakh (Scriptures of the time) about as well as he knew his name.

As Jay said, Nicodemus grew up understanding that if he memorized all these Scriptures, did all the right things, and followed all the rules, God would be pleased with him.

It hit me funny: how can God be pleased with a corpse? Who’s ever pleased with a corpse?

If a corpse could do anything at all, it could only do rotten things. Dead things. It just reminds me of how Jesus said in John 15 that apart from Him, we can do nothing.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:4-5

Think about that today. God loved you so much when you were a corpse that He sent His only Son to bring you to life.

That’s how loved you are. Go in that love today.

60 Second Devo | Advent | December 2

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

I will put hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.

Genesis 3:15

In today’s 60-second devo, we’ll be in Genesis 3.

Genesis 3 records where Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, chose to disobey God’s one command. By doing so, they let sin and death into the world, unleashing a torrent of horrors caused by the ripple effects of all the sins of all the people throughout all the ages. All the evil we see in the world around us today – all the suffering, all the horror – can ultimately be traced back to that one event.

And right there in Genesis 3:15, God records this prophecy. He had a plan.

Now you and I, when we make a mistake, maybe we screw up a drawing or mess up a recipe, we’ll throw it out most of the time. But not God!

Of course the analogy fails because God didn’t make the mistake – people did. He had every right to destroy His rebellious creatures – but He didn’t.

Instead, He put a plan into place that was unbelievable. He Himself would come save the creation; the people He made in His image.

That plan is the hope of Advent.

My second goofy attempt to share daily devotions with my college kids.

My Little Psalm

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

I am doing a Bible study with a friend entitled Promised Land; Living for God Where Culture Is Influenced. As a part of the work, we were challenged to write our own psalm, committing ourselves to make God known to the world and to offer it as testimony and a prayer of thankfulness. Here is my feeble attempt to express the inexpressible joy of being loved by God:

When Your power, I flat denied;
Wrapped in darkness, tried to hide;
Still You never left my side;
Oh my King, my everything...
When in grief, my anger burned;
Fury unleashed toward You, unearned;
You never left me, though I spurned
You, my King, my everything...
When confusion throttled me;
Choking chaos, I could not see;
Gently, softly called to me,
The mighty King, my everything...
Then my grief I tried to drown;
In the bottle, played the clown;
Still You never did back down;
My patient King, my everything...
Yet I, in stubborn pride did flee;
A hedonist, thought myself free;
But pleasure still eluded me;
Still waits my King, my everything...
Then intellect became my god;
But over hollow ground I trod;
Each footstep cracked the grand facade;
All wise, this King, owns everything...
Sweet cup of bliss raised to my lips;
But bitter down my throat, it slips.
Denial to frustration, tips -
I won't submit! There is no king...
What looked like freedom, in truth chains;
Weighed down, fear spikes, fury reigns;
Rage overflows, no thought constrains
Me now. Poised to spring, a feral thing...
Frenzied anger, too long pent
Grapples with the King 'til spent;
Then sobbing, clinging, soul's lament
Poured out to the King, my everything...
Blessed surrender, great irony;
The One I fought now sets me free!
All I am belongs to Thee,
My gracious King, my everything!
I live for Him. For Him, I'd die.
No longer lost and lonely, I
Cherish Yahweh, God Most High,
The one true King, my everything.

Wisdom Seeker: Day 24 – An Open Letter to S.S.

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Proverbs 24

My son, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste. Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 24:13-14

OK, I’ll confess that a part of this exercise of writing a bit about a proverb each day is to get me back in the habit. After taking July off and since I’m now getting paid to write (not here – an entirely different project), I need the accountability to write some words each day, even if they aren’t perfect.

So here I am. But today I have something else on my mind. Really, I have a person on my mind.

Mr. Sparkman, I doubt you’ll ever read this, but know that I’m praying for you. Seriously. I pray that you will know the goodness and peace of the Lord. I’m praying for you to find this wisdom that is sweet for your soul so you may find a future and your hope will not be cut off.

The thing is, none of this hope and future apply to your life here on earth. Horrible things have happened to you. There’s no denying it. And I know you believe God turned His back on you and you’re angry.

Well, today I invite you to let Him have it. You’re in yet another horrible place, so lay into Him. Yell to the heavens, fling all your anger and accusations into His face. Scream, rant, rave.

Because the thing is – He already knows it. Getting it out can be cathartic, like lancing an infection. And God – He is big. Huge. More than you can imagine. He can handle it.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

Psalms 139:4)

And what’s more, He knows what you are made of. He knows your weaknesses, your insecurities, your strengths, the good, the bad, the ugly. He knows you better than you know yourself. All of it.

And I know you don’t believe this, but He loves you anyway. He really, truly does. He’s given me a glimpse of that love which is why I continue to call you when I can, why I continue to pray for you when I can’t.

I want you to be free from the prison of deceit the enemy of our souls has locked you into. I want you to be able to experience the joy of repenting of sin and knowing that it is forgiven because God Himself came as a man to suffer pain – on purpose – so that He could pay the actual cost of that sin.

You can continue to pay it. Or you can surrender to Him and accept His forgiveness instead.

Yes, I know you’ve been sinned against. Atrociously. Horrifically. But the thing is, those people are accountable for their actions. If they didn’t face the consequences here on earth, they will face them in eternity. Some of them are already paying that price. I shudder to think about it.

It would have been better for them to pay it in this life and repent. Believe it or not, I’m sad for them. Eternal suffering is no joke, and once you get your mind around it, it’s hard to wish it on even the most evil person you know.

Forever, S. Forever suffering. The hell of this life multiplied by a million and extending for time out of mind.

You don’t want that. So please, please, please – let me talk to you more about my Lord Yeshua the Messiah. Let me tell you how good He is – even though bad things happen. Let me tell you of the freedom of forgiveness and the joy of knowing your eternal future is secure – free from pain and sorrow forever and ever and ever.

Because although I know you have been sinned against, you also know you’re no saint. None of us are outside of Yeshua. You know I wasn’t. Those who embrace Him are given His righteousness to put on as a cloak. It isn’t our goodness we wear – it’s His. Can you see that? I am not saved from my junk because of anything I did. It’s what He did for me that saved me. I simply surrendered to it.

And nothing can take that away for those of us who are in Christ. Nothing. No matter how bad life on earth gets – and it can get worse, believe me – nothing will change the future of the believer. Our hope is not in this world – it’s in eternity. Forever free from pain and sorrow and despair.

That is why I can have joy in the middle of severe physical pain. That is why I can smile even when I am rejected by other people. That is why I can love people who don’t love me back.

You see, Yeshua – Jesus – did that for me. He loved me when I ridiculed Him, when I hated Him, when I rebelled against Him. He loved me until I wrestled with Him and shrieked at Him until I finally lay spent at His feet, weeping.

And I surrendered.

He loves you, too. He really does. Please consider him.

Your old friend,

Heather

Tuesday Prayer: Save

~ Heather Davis ~ 6 Comments

Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates.

Revelation 22:12-14


Mighty Savior, it is by Your grace alone that any of us can be saved. And yet, so great is Your grace and so all-encompassing is Your power that even the most vile sins, the most detestable acts, and the most horrendous rebellion can be washed clean by the blood of the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. We praise Your name that Your power extends far beyond even the deepest roots of sin in our lives and hearts!

And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”

Mark 10:26-27

This week, Lord, we ask for You to give us compassion for those who have not submitted their lives to Your Lordship. Please also give us a powerful desire to share about the redemption purchased for all mankind by the sacrifice of Your only and unique Son as well as praying earnestly that those who are lost may be found and saved.

In the present age, the concept of sin has been watered down into something meaningless, bland, and perhaps even quaint. As a people, we’ve lost sight of the heinousness of sin and of the certainty of destruction for the unregenerate.

Forgive us, Lord, for if we truly understood the wrath to come for those who are not in Christ, how much more desperately would we pray for them and share the truth with them? If we truly understood the gravity of sin, how much less would we be lulled into complacency by it? Give us this desperation and this understanding. Please realign our priorities so that we are not only speaking Your truth, we are living for it and in it.

Let us be honest about what You have saved us from and honest about where You are still at work in us. Where we struggle, let us be equally bold in confessing our sin and asking others to pray with us, that we may be released from it. Teach us what it means for us to be a people set apart for Your glory, and show us how to live for You in any and all circumstances.

And Lord, please save our lost friends and loved ones. Open their eyes to the truth, open their hearts to Your word, and work in them the redemption and the spiritual healing You continually work in us. Continue the work of sanctification in our hearts, too, and on each day, draw us nearer to Yourself and further from the grasp of this world system, amen. 

Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:21-22

Tuesday Prayer: Even If

~ Heather Davis ~ 3 Comments

If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” 

Daniel 3:17-18, NASB

YHWH Adonai, You are the great and mighty God; the God who saves us and in whom is found compassion, mercy, justice, and forgiveness. Whether our lives are filled with difficulty or ease, You are good, for You are unchanging even in the midst of a world in constant flux. Our opinion of You has no effect on the reality of You, our God, nor do our feelings towards you make any difference in who You are. Thank You for Your solidity in an unstable world. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

Psalm 62:2

Today, we thank You for the many times You have rescued us from some disaster or kept us safe from some evil scheme. However, Lord, we also recognize that You do not always protect us in this world. Sometimes, terrible things happen. Sometimes there is sickness, terror, pain, sorrow, torment, and death.

Faith in You does not guarantee us a pain-free life. If anything, faith in You prepares us to take up our crosses, daily choosing to die to ourselves and follow You. Choosing faith in Christ means choosing to participate in His suffering, but also to participate in His ultimate exaltation. Choosing to follow Jesus also means declaring open war on the enemy of our souls, opening us up to a greater scale of attack from his forces as he seeks to destroy and discourage us. 

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.

Mark 8:34-35

Knowing this, we choose You anyway, Lord. You are able to rescue us from any danger, yet even if You do not, we will serve You. Our choice to give our lives to You is not based on what You do for us but on the fact that You are who You are. The King of kings; the Prince of peace; the Mighty God; the Beginning and the End; the Holy One. We serve You because You are our God and because we love You, and no scheme of hell nor pain of life can ever tear that away. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

And so it is that we praise You for saving us from ultimate and eternal disaster through the sacrifice of Jesus. Thank You that You chose to draw us to Him, to enable our hearts to trust in Him. Without Jesus, we would be doomed to the futility of our own poor choices now and eternal suffering, but in Christ, we are renewed and redeemed to be useful to You once more and promised eternal life in Your presence.  

Use us, Lord, as You see fit. Give us an eternal hunger for You and for Your word, and pierce our hearts with sorrow for those who suffer in this world without the eternal hope we have in You. May this tenderness compel us to share Your truth boldly with others, pleading on our knees in intercession on their behalf that You might see fit to draw them to saving faith as well, amen. 

Tuesday Prayer: Love for Man

~ Heather Davis ~ 3 Comments

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” 

John 13:34-35

God who is Love, today we come before Your throne of grace humbled and contrite in heart. We are more grateful than words can express that You have chosen to open our eyes to the greatest Love of all; the Love of the Almighty expressed in the ultimate atoning sacrifice. By Your sacrificial love, all our crimes are forgiven and taken away as far as the east is from the west. 

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Psalms 103:11-12

Yet even with so great an example of humility and sacrificial love as Jesus demonstrated His life and death, even though the cost of our own sin is uncountable, we are prone to forgetfulness when it comes to extending that same love and forgiveness to other people. What a short-sighted and selfish people we are! Open our hearts more to understand the depth and breadth of Your love. Fill us with it so that we may love others just as selflessly as You love us.

Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

Matthew 18:32-33

And Lord, please change our vision so that we do not interpret the actions and motives of others only by how they affect us or make us feel. Instead, help us see others as You do. For those who are unsaved, remind us that we, too, were once lost, deceived, and living in active rebellion to the Living God. Show us how to view others with humility, understanding that only by Your grace are we saved and that they, too, may be saved by Your grace. 

Shape us into a compassionate people, believing the best intentions of others no matter how they hurt us and willing to forgive no matter how deep the wound. Keep us mindful of the cost of the Cross and of the hurts we’ve inflicted on others and on You so that we can keep our own attitudes in proper perspective.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7

Thank You for allowing us to be covered in the righteousness of Your Son, Jesus, for without His covering, we would be laid bare in our shame and filthy in our sin.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:21

And Lord, make us to especially love our brothers and sisters in Christ. If we are not actively living in love with each other, we have no draw to those on the outside of the church. Let us live out Jesus’s words and show the world we belong to Him by the love we have for each other. 

May it be, also, that we love others enough to tell them the truth about You, even if it is a difficult truth for them to hear. If any should die apart from Christ, may it never be because we neglected share the news of Jesus Christ with them. It is for Your glory and in His name we ask for this great overflow of compassion in our hearts and actions, amen. 

Hurt by Church? Me too. Let’s Chat.

~ Heather Davis ~ 25 Comments

My turn first.

It’s true. I have been hurt by church – even hurt by a church whose stated purpose is to provide a safe place to connect to God for those who have been hurt by church. A trifle ironic, you might say, and you’d be right.

However, I’m not here to drag the leadership of this church through the mud. There will be no character assassination attempts, no ranting or railing against the injustice of it all. In fact, there will be a shocking deficit of details about my experience.

What I want most to express is this: I am glad it happened.

No, you didn’t misread. I have a genuine, heartfelt, sincere sense of glee because I have been hurt by church. Sorry if that isn’t what you expected to hear. Yet bear with me and hear me out…

I admit I wasn’t always glad about it. To the contrary, there were years in which I was downright bitter about the thing. I was in pain. I was angry. I licked my wounds and sulked. I threw a huge pity party and invited me, myself, and I, and we sat around and placated one another’s tender little ol’ feelings.

Basically, I hopped on the crazy train without even looking at the itinerary first. And I have to say I didn’t really like where it left me when the time came to disembark.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

So, there I was, alone and lacking the proper attire in a wasteland echoing with the sounds of my  sniveling self-pity with naught to eat but the acrid fruit of my own sharp tongue.

“Today also my complaint is bitter; my hand is heavy on account of my groaning.
Job 23:2

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21

Not fun. Still, I am truthfully glad it happened. Not because it hurt, but because God uses all things – pain and pleasure alike – to shape His people for eternity. Maybe especially pain.

The thing is, God did not leave me to whine forever in that wasteland. Oh He let me endure it for a bit. Gave me my head, saw how far I would run astray from the Master I love. He allowed me the natural consequences of my sulky response to pain.

But He didn’t leave me because the wasteland was nothing more than a pit stop down the broad path which leads to destruction. And destruction was something I was embracing while I nursed my hurts as if they were dear, beloved friends.

Meanwhile, I was allowing something foolish like hurt feelings to build walls between me and my actual dear, beloved friends.

The stupid part is, I knew better.

In the logical part of my brain, I knew the decision which wounded me was made at a time when we were all worn thin, church leadership and laypeople alike.

It was a difficult season in our church’s history, and each one of us was exerting an enormous amount of energy just to keep our heads above water and make each Sunday happen. And I also knew the decision had not been made as a personal slight.

I knew that. Yet for some reason, my pride still felt a sting and I allowed it to grow. And fester.

But my Father is good. He knows when I have had enough of my own way, and He is faithful to bring me back to the narrow path by His side. And to be honest, that part hurt, too.

… He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:10-11

My God disciplined me for my own good, so I can share in something better than approval from man, or praise, or whatever it was I felt robbed of at the time. I can share in His holiness. 

Wow. Seriously, wow.

But I have to tell you, the discipline part hurt. Maybe even more than the original wound.

Because of my bitterness, I was forced to take an honest look at myself. I was compelled to assess the situation, acknowledge what I knew to be true about it, and continue in God’s Word and work.

Then once I had reconciled reality with my faulty perception, it was time to slay the seething monster. But it wouldn’t die.

Each time I believed it dead and moved on, the vile thing would pop its ugly head back up in a new location. Despite my best efforts at extraction, a root of bitterness coiled around my heart and continued to send new shoots piercing through my words at most inconvenient times.

It was humbling. It was horrible. And frankly, as a woman who spends so much time with her Father in His Word and in conversation throughout the days, it was embarrassing.

But it was also good.

You see, God used one perceived slight to show me something I had overlooked. He used it to expose my selfish tendencies, my desire for approval, my propensity to “accidentally” allow my left hand a peek or two at what my right hand was doing.

He used it to expose my pride. My tendency to harbor bitterness. My inflated self-importance. And more.

But in exposing these things, He also began a long and painful work of removing them. And He prompted me to do something I can hope will be the proverbial stake through the monster’s heart.

He prompted me to confess my bitterness to two friends who in some ways represent the church I write of because they are the pastor and his wife. But as I said before, they are also my friends. And I confessed to them the bitterness I wanted gone from my life,  knowing they would accept my confession and pray for me.

It was humbling, sure, but it was also liberating. By confessing, the ugly monster no longer lurked in the depths of my heart but was brought out into the sunshine where it can wither and die. May this be the final nail in its coffin.

And so, in being hurt by church, I was able to discover and address my own junk.

There is no church on earth where people will not, from time to time, hurt one another. We are all selfish at heart. We can all be thoughtless. We respond to one another out of fatigue or pain or a myriad of other problems. And not a single one of us can read the minds and hearts of others, and so we never know if what we say or do might inflict some unintentional wound.

But my friends, that’s the inherent beauty in the church. It’s called sanctification, and it means dealing both with our own hideous monsters and with the hideous monsters of others. It’s how we learn to confess, to forgive, to grow in Christ. To become more like Him in His holiness and humility.

I am thankful for friends I can confess my sin to who will listen and hear my heart then pray for me. And I pray the stupid rift caused by bitterness will truly be healed.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
James 5:16a

And I’m even more thankful for a God who loves me enough to show me the nasty bits breeding beneath the surface of my soul, then rip them out before they squeeze the life from my heart and relationships.

So what has God wrought in you through times of being hurt, by church or otherwise?