Now that I’ve covered three of the most prominent myths of homeschooling (here, here, and here), it’s time to dive into what I’ve learned from my own homeschool experience. The next several homeschool posts will be advice I’d give to myself if I could have a do-over, including rejecting the lie of self-reliance.

But before I continue, note two important facts. First, I am offering homeschool advice from the perspective of a former homeschooler whose children are now in college and nearing graduation. I’ve been deeply immersed in the homeschool community as well as worked for two years at the private Christian school where my three attended for the high school years. I have friends who currently work in public schools and attended public school myself back in my school days, so my perspective is not one of a limited, narrow focus.

Second and probably the most important, I advise from a Christian perspective. I cannot offer any insight outside of Christ because my life is wholly wrapped up and defined by His. I first truly understood what He did for me at the age of 26, and since then I have grown so close to and dependent upon Him that I cannot even fathom offering advice apart from the God I serve. There is my disclaimer; do with it what you will.

That being said, let’s begin.

You Are Not Enough

I know our culture likes to pad up our egos with sweet little lies like: you are enough, you can do whatever you set your mind to, and you’ve got this.

The problem is, all this self-reliance is absolute rubbish. At the risk of sounding negative, I promise you will discover how hollow and futile such empty adages are if you homeschool. However, the understanding that you are not enough is actually good news! Hear me out.

If you are convinced in your own enoughness, how devastating will it be when – and yes, I did say when – you fail in some regard. You are human, and humans are all distorted by sin and fallible. If you are enough, you are depending upon a broken instrument to instruct your young.

The actual truth is: you can’t do this. But God can.

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24, ESV).

Learn to accept that you are not and never will be enough, not for yourself, your spouse, or for your children. You will have moments of failure. You will lose your temper. You will have bad days. You may find subjects that came easily for you do not come easily for your children, and you may struggle to translate concepts that seem obvious to you into terms they can comprehend. You will have doubts and struggles and failures.

You most certainly are not enough, so breathe a sigh of relief and choose to seek the God who called you to homeschool and learn to rely – daily – upon His infinite well of wisdom and resource.

And take heart in the fact that sometimes failure is part of learning well – both for you and for your offspring. More on that later.

Pray without Ceasing

The best way to reject self-reliance is to learn to think of your day as an ongoing conversation with the Lord who called you and who guides you. Imagine the Holy Spirit as the director of your school, if it helps, and call on Him for advice when you run into a discipline issue or a problem you can’t solve. Ask Him and wait for His lead. I promise He will not steer you wrong, although if you’re like me, you might run ahead of him because you feel you don’t have time to wait.

Which, for the record, I do not recommend.

He will give you what you need, so ask Him and trust Him. Resist the urge to look to other sources for wisdom, because if God called you to homeschool, He alone can determine the right course of action for your specific call.

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it (Psalm 81:10, ESV).

Don’t Fret over Your Weakness

When you feel weak, insecure, unable to teach, incapable of parenting 24/7, and frustrated with trying to play the roles of parent, teacher, counselor, principle, curriculum coordinator, and administrative assistant all at the same time, don’t worry. Instead, rejoice – difficult though it may be – because where you are weak is where you get to see God’s power shine.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).

It’s a challenge to feel weak, inept, incompetent, but I can tell you from the other side that it is good.

My homeschool career was complicated by chronic intractable migraine with status migrainosis- a diagnosis I did not acquire for at least a decade. During stated decade (or more – time was fuzzy then), I suffered with daily headaches ranging from distracting to debilitating. I saw numerous doctors, some of whom didn’t believe me.

I also tried a number of medications, occasionally getting the number of headache days down to 20 or fewer per month before my body would adjust and a dosage increase would be required. Each of these medications brought side effects, and none of them served to improve my quality of life.

My poor children had to deal with migraine-brain, migraine prodromal rages, me fleeing to the bathroom to vomit in the middle of a lesson, and even passing out on the schoolroom floor.

Yet where I was weak, the Lord was strong. I truly couldn’t have done it in my own strength, but by God’s grace, my children learned both academics and compassion.

God truly is good.