education

Half a Century | A Reflection

~ Heather Davis ~ 1 Comment

On March 10, 1974, a tiny human protested the forceful eviction from the warmth of her first home into a cold shock of light and noise.

That is to say, this past March, I turned 50. Oddly enough, checking the box labeled 50-59 doesn’t make me feel as old as the day one of my kiddos (then in middle school) exclaimed in utter disbelief, “You were born in the 1900s?!?” (emphasis unfortunately hers).

Yes. Yes, I was. Thanks for pointing it out.

Born in the 1900s, I am a member of Gen X who worked 40 hours a week during high school, began paying rent at the age of 19, and out of sheer stubborn, stupid pride, shouldered a variety of adult responsibilities and challenges that would probably cast many of today’s young people into a state of horrified catatonia at the mere suggestion. And I didn’t even have social media to document the trauma.

My earliest memories are rather vague: my great-grandfather, who shared his birthday with me, bending over and opening his arms wide; my great-grandmother lying oh-so-still in a bed; my dear Mammaw standing up from a rocking chair, sobbing with a tissue to her face, and walking toward my mama. These are shadowy pictures of great-grandparents; people who passed into eternity before I turned three.

Another early pictorial memory is of a smiling lady with short, dark hair. I recall her taking my hand in the church nursery and lead me out into the parking lot, where we were joined by a pair of trousered legs to her right. Then, the hand holding mine abruptly let go. Afterward, only vague, mixed-up images and a recollection of terror: a sense of being very, very alone and fear as a large car passed very close to me. Somehow being found by a kind older lady. Then – oh joy! – my mama bolting toward me, black hair streaming behind her.

Years later, my family filled in the gaps of this wordless memory, and I learned how close I’d come to leading a very different life. This was my brush with trafficking.

The more concrete memories began when I started school, and I won’t bore you with them. However, I am fascinated to think back on how the world has changed. For example, I began school in first grade, before mandatory kindergarten; a fact I recalled in high school when reading Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451.

“The home environment can undo a lot you try to do at school. That’s why we’ve lowered the kindergarten age year after year until now we’re almost snatching them from the cradle.”

Excerpt from Captain Beatty’s monologue; Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Both my grade school experience and this quote leapt to mind the first time a younger mom confided to me during my homeschool days how she worried her 3-year-old wouldn’t be prepared for kindergarten if she couldn’t afford preschool.

How susceptible we are to suggestion…

Still, I’ve enjoyed a rich half century filled with highs, lows, in-betweens, fascinating people, and beautiful sunsets. I’ve seen certain fashions cycle through cool -> dated -> laugh-inducing -> cool.

I’ve shed tears and shared laughs; I’ve followed my heart into a cramped & stifling chamber of horrors; I’ve visited the depths of despair and found God there waiting to bring me home.

Then there are the crazy technological changes I’ve experienced, especially in telephone tech:

  • The rotary dial phone with its restraining cords redeemed by the gratifying wham-ching! of the angry hang-up. Bonus: these babies doubled as formidable weapons.
  • The first push button phones = less time to dial + retaining the pleasures of slamming the handset into the cradle.
  • The wonders of the first cordless phone and testing the bounds of its range before losing the connection. Sometimes you could even make it to the mailbox!
  • The advent of call waiting and caller ID – and screening calls.
  • The first cell phones for rich folk and doctors; monstrosities about the size of a brick.
  • The first time I saw a grandparent Face Timed into his grandkid’s birthday party brought a sense of Star Trek come to life.
  • Then there’s today, where people who can’t even afford milk still manage to pay their monthly cell phone bill. Formidable weapon turned formidable distraction.

<Random Phone-related Memory>

Waiting tables in the 1990s: one afternoon, the hostess led a party of four to their lunch table, each member of the party clutching their 90’s-era cell phones to their ear. The dining room din quieted for a moment, followed by a single snicker. Soon, the whole room was filled with poorly-stifled laughter as the four red-faced businessfolk quickly ended their calls and hid behind their menus.

<Cut to Modern Restaurant Lunch Scene>

Several people are staring at their phones while the hostess seats a party of four who have Bluetooth earbuds in, unobtrusively finishing their calls. All four send a text from their watch before using their phones to scan the QR code and read the menu onscreen. No one notices because this has become normal. And yet, despite the physical proximity of diners remaining the same as in the 90s, there is a vast and subtle social distance surrounding each one.

<Back to the Present Reflection>

Even email, now pervaded with marketing and scams, began as something different. I remember a time one checked emails on occasion via dial-up, hoping to hear the cheery voice proclaim, “You’ve got mail!” – and the email was from an actual, flesh-and-blood acquaintance.

I could go on, but I won’t. There is so much; far too much.

Yet what amazes me most in this last half-century is how God has shored me up through it all. From the moment He sent an older lady out for air at the exact moment a strange couple had spirited three-year-old me half-way through the church parking lot through the times I rejected Him and embraced the values of secular humanism all the way to the moment I recognized those values left me with a life bereft of meaning.

He’s seen me through a long season of intense physical pain and fatigue due to chronic, intractable migraine and post-viral syndrome. What’s more, He even sustained me enough to lay an educational foundation for my three children (then homeschooled), enabling all three to graduate from a private high school with honors and do well in college. The eldest just graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering. The two young ladies will graduate in 2025 with degrees in Cellular and Molecular Biology and Pre-physical Therapy respectively.

Since I was operating in a semi-conscious pain haze during most of their homeschooled years, I cannot claim credit for one bit of it.

Even better, two have maintained their relationship with God through college and the one who ventured away seems to be returning to the Truth that sets free. Only God can do this; I got more wrong in my part than I did right.

And today, the same God is sustaining me through a new season – a season of renewed health and reduced physical pain; a season of reevaluation and reflection. A season of burying the corpses of dreams and mourning what could have been.

Even in this season of upheaval and change, God is good; my Sustainer, my Counselor, and my King. Every moment of pain has only made Him more real, and so I bless His Name for all of the last half century – the good, the bad, and the truly terrible.

In seasons of joy and wonder, I am reminded these are mere glimpses of the true joy and wonder of eternal life in the presence of my King. And in seasons of suffering, loss, or disillusionment, He prompts me to remember this world is not my home as He removes all entanglements out of His lovingkindness.

No matter what the next few years or decades bring, I know I can rest in the completed work of Jesus Christ, my King; for in Him, my sins are forgiven and my future secure. Everything else is just another stepping stone toward glory.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:1-5)

Homeschool Advice Part 8 | Stay Engaged

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Once again, this advice is for all parents, not just homeschoolers. Whether your kids are never out of your sight or you hardly see them; whether they receive their schooling directly from you, from a public school, private school, or a hybrid; literally no matter what is going on in your life with children, the advice is the same: stay engaged.

I know firsthand how tempting it can be to zone out during your homeschool day. Especially once your children reach the age where you become more educational facilitator than hands-on teacher, it’s easy to just let them go do their thing and assume all is well.

Resist this temptation.

Instead, stay engaged in the educational process. Initiate discussions. Ask questions. Have your learners repeat the information they are reading out loud. Not only will this simple practice keep you fully connected with their strengths and weaknesses, it will help them retain their lessons. It is wholly worth the extra few minutes.

Avoid Easy Buttons

Another bit of advice in this realm: don’t waste one of the greatest assets you have as a homeschooler – the ability to review mistakes made in homework. In my words: never waste a good mistake. All mistakes are fantastic opportunities to learn. So, don’t hit the easy button and just discard your kids’ work. Stay engaged in the entire process of learning, grading, and reviewing.

I recommend what I did – grade your children’s homework daily, then take time to go over not only what they missed but why they missed it. Sure, it takes extra effort on your part, but I promise the benefits for them vastly outweigh the inconvenience to you.

This process of reviewing missed problems or questions allows your children the enormous blessing of learning from their mistakes. Plus, it keeps you accountable for not letting things slide on the administrative end.

Win-win.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

Another easy button to avoid is entertainment in the car. Those trips to and from activities or field trips provide excellent opportunities for conversation. You have a captive audience – as long as you don’t surrender your kids’ attention to technology.

By God’s grace, I avoided the use of technology in the car until my kids were nearly college-aged, and as a result, I was blessed with a multitude of incredible teachable moments and deep conversations. It always amazed me what would come up naturally in the course of passenger-seat conversations.

I still treasure our many (often hilarious) car-ride convos and have never once regretted leaving the distractions behind. To this day, my now college-aged kids prefer chatting in the car to zoning out on their devices when we are driving together.

Deadlines

One critical commitment you must make as the homeschool teacher is enforcing firm deadlines. When my kids were still babies, I began to research the pros and cons of homeschooling. I learned one of the most often reported complaints from colleges was the inability of homeschoolers to meet deadlines.

(And yes, I did in fact contact college admissions departments before my oldest turned four…)

As a Christian, this deadline failure ought to be an ouch moment.

Think of it this way – instead of demonstrating reliability, trustworthiness, and faithfulness, homeschoolers instead present a lax, disrespectful, and slovenly attitude toward other people’s time. An inability to meet deadlines and keep appointments displays a lack of integrity. It is both rude and irresponsible.

Not only would such a failing reflect poorly on your student, it dishonors our Lord. As Christians (homeschooling or no), we bear Christ’s name. Because of this, we are His ambassadors; thus, we should strive to do whatever it takes to make Him look good – reflecting His integrity and excellence to a watching world.

Even if it means doing hard, inconvenient tasks in our homeschool days.

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

On a practical level, think of what failing to enforce deadlines teaches your student about the real world. When rent or the electric bill comes due, deadlines become quite important. If your student goes to college, they will need to submit their work on time. If they enter the work force, they will still be required to show up on time and meet goals or target dates for their work.

Slippery deadlines are a HUGE temptation as a homeschooler. Yet I urge you – do not be careless with this vital skill. It has far too many real-world ramifications.

When you’re tempted to “show grace” on a deadline, imagine a doctor rolling in a couple of hours after the scheduled surgery while you lay prepped on the table or an electrician putting off an appointment to fix a smoking outlet for a week or two. Then be firm and hold your students accountable.

Homeschooling as a Job

One major way to keep yourself engaged is to treat homeschooling (or parenting) like a “real” job – even though it is a job you pay to do rather than getting paid.

Think of it as your full-time career with the Lord as your boss – because, well, that’s exactly what is going on if you are called to homeschool.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).

With this in mind, imagine your response if you sent your kids to a public or private institution and discovered the teachers were busy scrolling Instagram, never bothered to look over homework, or just decided to take the day off and watch movies once or twice a week.

Most of us would be outraged to discover this was going on in school, yet we find it all too easy to excuse the exact same behaviors in ourselves! Not cool.

Your kids’ education and well-being is worth the effort it takes for you to do the job well – not perfectly, of course, but to the best of your ability.

Don’t underestimate the trickle-down effect of slack behavior. If you demonstrate negligence, your kids will pick up the cue that cutting corners or scrimping on quality is an acceptable way of living life. Instead, model hard work, integrity, and personal sacrifice for the sake of God’s ways so they learn to do the same.

Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys (Proverbs 18:9).

Stay Engaged in Kingdom Work

Finally, stay engaged and look for gospel opportunities throughout your day. Homeschooling is not only about educating your child’s mind but also about discipling his heart. It is Kingdom work, and it is work with an eternal impact.

Keep the Word of God foremost in all you do. Look for chances to point out God’s work in your daily life, and draw attention to evidence of His mercy, grace, and goodness. Exalt Him wherever possible, even in the mundane details of your homeschool.

Final Thoughts

While it seems as if these years will drag on forever, they won’t. Your time with your children is precious and limited. Don’t squander it. All of the advice I’m writing out comes from a place of mingled regret where I failed and joy where I succeeded in my homeschool and parenting.

In homeschooling, I had no mentor, and I learned a great deal from failures. My heart’s desire is to give you a leg up so you can land on the other side with more successes and fewer failures than I. And above all, my hope is God can be glorified through sharing both my mistakes and my successes in homeschooling and beyond.

Homeschool Advice Part 7 | Read Aloud and Read a Lot

~ Heather Davis ~ 4 Comments

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” – Ray Bradbury

If you do nothing else in your homeschool, teach your children to read. Basic math is also a must, and thinking critically about what they read is equal in importance, but reading itself is an incredible skill that cannot be overstated. Since reading the Bible should be the foundation and center of all we do, it goes without saying that a person cannot understand the Scriptures unless he or she knows how to read. So, read. And read aloud. Then read some more.

Read Aloud To Them

Long before your children are capable of tackling texts themselves, I highly recommend reading to them. There is an established correlation between parents who read aloud to their very young children and the child’s later reading comprehension. Children who experience the benefits of being read aloud to often go on to not only have greater literacy and comprehension rates, but tend to read for enjoyment more often as well.

But don’t stop too soon. So many parents cease reading aloud to their kids the moment the young reader has a basic grasp of phonics and can make their way through a beginner chapter book.

This is a grave mistake. Reading is actually difficult work involving decoding signs and symbols into meaning. Often, a child can decode the words into sensible sentences long before they are capable of actually processing the greater meaning of the whole.

But when a parent reads aloud to children, their brains are free to assimilate, process, and critically think about the concepts they are hearing. They also learn the rhythms of language, gain exposure to complex syntax and use of imagery, and hear how others distill thoughts, feelings, and observations into words.

So don’t stop reading to your children the moment they crack the code for the first time. By all means, allow them the privilege and excitement of reading for themselves. Yet supplement their early reading with what I always called read-alouds; books you share as a family, read aloud by the parent and enjoyed by all.

Also – don’t stop this practice in elementary school. Read aloud to your children as long as you can. You may be surprised how long they will enjoy it.

In actual practice, I read aloud to my children until they started attending private school (in 10th and 8th grades respectively). Our read-aloud time was one thing I missed the most when homeschooling ended, and the kids expressed fondness for those times as well.

Not only did reading aloud serve as a bonding time for us as a family, it also helped each of them develop literacy, exposure to new ideas, and develop a love for reading (which, of course, varies from the middle child who seeks out and reads obscure Shakespeare plays for fun to the oldest who enjoys more modern books).

Have Them Read Aloud to You

Besides the books you read to them, be sure you insist on each child reading aloud to you for a few minutes every day. Don’t just assume they are grasping their reading lessons; be certain of it. And again, don’t stop this practice in elementary school but continue it for the duration of your homeschool.

There are several ways to do this. One simple way is to have them read a page or two of their reading/ literature, history, or science textbooks. Another great practice is to have each child take turns reading from the Bible each morning.

By hearing your children read out loud, you can be aware of areas they are misinterpreting words, skipping over difficult words or passages, or catch a myriad of problems in their infancy. Children who read aloud and have their errors corrected on the spot, who are encouraged to sound out big words, develop greater confidence and competency. It’s worth the extra effort.

Read Good Books

No matter what age or stage your children are at, they can still benefit from being read to. My number one advice for choosing a book to read aloud is to choose good, quality books with stories that stand the test of time. And choose books that are one or two levels above your child’s own reading ability.

Practically speaking, in the very early years (preschool – third grade), you have a plethora of children’s chapter books to choose from. The Moffats and other books by Eleanor Estes are fabulous, as are books like Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Ronald Dahl, and any number of children’s classics.

Do a Google search to find recommended reading lists for each grade, then choose one or more a grade or two ahead of your oldest student. In the elementary years, even young children can enjoy hearing books they may not yet be able to decode for themselves.

Note that in the elementary years, I personally recommend books that support Christian values. What you read to them will not only shape their minds but will contribute to shaping their worldviews. They are too young for abstract thinking, so be selective in your choices.

In late middle school, expand your read-aloud list to heftier material like The Screwtape Letters or Mere Christianity (7th-8th grades) by C. S. Lewis or Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton. These books may be beyond your child’s grasp, but reading them aloud and discussing them has a tremendous benefit. In books such as these, they hear the voices of Christian thinkers as well as men from another age and culture – all of which can serve your children well as their minds develop.

There is also great benefit to reading more controversial books aloud to middle school children. Don’t be afraid of what’s out there, but dive in, read it together, and examine it critically. Discuss what you read: Does the author champion a view that honors God? What parts of the book line up with Scriptural principles? Where does the book differ from God’s way? What is the main takeaway from this book? Are the themes, lifestyles, attitudes or actions those we should emulate or avoid? Why?

Don’t throw your kiddos to the wolves and hope they’ll figure it out for themselves. Jump in and wrestle it out with them.

Read Old Books

“Somebody who only reads newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else.” -Albert Einstein

One great service you can do for your children is to read older books. Take them back to a time when life was lived differently. Let them hear the flow of language, linger in the length of a long and luxurious sentence, and hear the tones, fashions, and moods of other periods in time.

By reading older books – especially when you spend time discussing what has been read – you help children see how cultural fads come and go. They can see how social norms may change but human nature never does. They are given a glimpse into the past and can learn that our modern ways of living and relating are not necessarily right just because they are current.

In short, they can learn what a small space each of us occupies, what truths endure and stand the test of time, and how true it is that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). A little humility goes a long way in learning how to think well, and books can be a great tool in learning it.

“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all.” – Abraham Lincoln

Homeschool Advice: Part 6 | Failure

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

In the early years of homeschooling, I began to re-evaluate the role of failure in life. I’d spent a good portion of my adult years berating myself for stupid mistakes, wasted time, and the like – to the ironic point of wasting more time stupidly dwelling on past mistakes. It changed when I noticed my ungodly habit rubbing off my kids and recognized the absolute desolation of refusing to learn from past mistakes.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
(2 Corinthians 7:10)

Instead, I began to tell my children what I had learned from mistakes. When they failed at something, I would repeat a phrase they likely grew sick of hearing over the years: never waste a good mistake.

I meant it. The usefulness of failure became clear to me during an afternoon chat with a neighbor on her front porch. She mentioned failing statistics several times in high school and talked about how much she hated standard deviations and probabilities. When she caught my blank stare, she asked, “Don’t you remember?”

I did not.

Ironically, I’d aced the class. Yet as the conversation progressed, it became clear she remembered far more statistics than I did despite her failures and my apparent success.

As I took this new thought to the Lord, He showed me where my personal areas of failure were now lessons more deeply etched than those areas I’d skimmed over by succeeding.

Because of this realization, I determined to not only allow my children to fail but to show them how to best learn from it. I didn’t withhold the large red X on incorrect problems, and I resisted the trend in my circles to give them straight As at the end of each grading period.

Instead, I graded appropriately. Good grades were earned, not granted. Whenever work was done incorrectly, I would bring the graded paper back to my little pupil and have them rework the problem. Together, we would think through what went wrong.

However, I did not change the grade. Instead, I provided a chance to learn from mistakes so the next grade would be better.

I wanted to challenge them, and I wanted them to fail so they would see failure is not an end. It is not a thing to be feared. Instead, failure is merely another step in the journey. In truth, failure can even be a more memorable step than instant success. Whatever we wrestle through, we tend to recall more vividly.

I’m convinced this is part of why God allows us to fail. By failing, we see our own fragility; our weakness and need for Him. Also by failing, we learn not to be afraid to try because we discover failure is not so bad, after all.

In fact, through failure, we learn humility and to better trust the God who never fails. 

"Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, 
remember the former things of old; 
for I am God, and there is no other; 
I am God, and there is none like me, 
declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done,
 saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,'
(Isaiah 46:8-10)

Homeschool Advice: Part 5 | Keep the End Game in Mind

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Today’s topic is part parenting, part homeschooling, and applicable to both: keeping an eye on the end game. What I mean is this: as you parent and teach, remember the job is to prepare your children to grow into adults who are willing to follow God at all costs; to stand firm on truth even in world hostile to truth and to be able to function long after you have been called home.

Parenting for the End Game

While it may sound idyllic to raise children in an environment free from difficulty, failure, and suffering, such a situation would actually be detrimental to their development. Without difficulty, children do not learn to trust God in times of trial; they do not learn to be resourceful and resilient. Free from any suffering, children cannot develop character and hope. Without failure, they never learn to get back up and keep going.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:3-5)

Failure in particular is so critical to development, I am planning an entire post dedicated to it, so stay tuned.

Keep in mind that the job of a Christian parent is to raise children who become functional, godly adults. The end game is, put simply, to work yourself out of a job by preparing your kids to become men and women who no longer need you. One way to do this is to encourage them to try difficult things.

By “encouraging them to try difficult things,” I’m not saying you should hand your four-year-old a meat cleaver and have her start hacking a hunk of beef into stew meat. But you can be appropriate for each age and stage and still think forward. Provide opportunities for your kids to challenge themselves, to strive for independence, to grow.

Practically speaking, let your two-year-old attempt to dress herself even if she decides to wear purple polka-dot tights with a bright orange and yellow striped tank dress and fairy wings. It may not be what you would choose for a trip to the library, but at least she’s learning a necessary skill.

Encourage your five-year-old to pour his own breakfast cereal. Enlist all ages to help with household chores, even if they don’t do a stellar job. Praise the effort anyway.

Establish nutrition boundaries and have your six-and-ups pack their own lunches for school or homeschool tutorials or field trips. Have them fold and put away their own clothes as soon as dexterity allows (even if it isn’t perfect), and once they’re tall enough to reach the laundry controls, teach them to do their own laundry.

Start laying the ground work now so they will know how to function if you end up sick – or worse. Such skills will not harm them now and can only help them in the future even if they are somehow spared any future difficulties.

Teaching for the End Game

While all the above advice could arguably be incorporated into school as “life skills,” it is primarily geared toward parenting. For the homeschooler, teaching for the end game is just as important. This means teaching with an eye to preparing them for the next step God calls them to – whether it is college, career, marriage, or something else.

As you plan your homeschool, there are two facts you should keep in mind:

1. You Do Not Know God’s Individual Call for Each Child

For your part as a homeschooler, do your best to leave all available doors open. Teach with the goal of preparing them so college is an option for them, regardless of whether or not they take it. Not all children should go on to college, but you certainly don’t want to be guilty of closing that avenue for them before they even have a chance to decide.

      One practical way to do this is by establishing a homeschool environment with structure and routine. While your homeschool cannot – and should not – look and feel exactly like a public or private school, it is wise to set up structures easily adaptable into those environments, just in case. You literally never know what the future holds, so keep the possibility of future public- or private-school attendance in mind when setting goals and planning curriculum.

      Phrased simply, teach your kids as though you might not be there tomorrow, because you never really know.

      2. You do not know how long God will call you to homeschool.

      Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” James 4:13–15 (ESV).

      We live in a broken world, and because of that, terrible tragedies happen. Twice during my kids’ lifetimes, I contracted meningitis. By the grace of God, neither case was bacterial. Though both cases involved hospitalization and left residual health issues in their wake, I was able to continue being both mom and teacher.

      However.

      Both times made me realize how fleeting life really is. Had one or the other been a bacterial infection, there’s a solid chance I would not be writing these words today. It’s a good reminder that none of us ever know the date our lives will be required of us.

      Morbidity aside, there are other reasons your homeschool may be more temporary than you planned. It’s wise not to assume you will always homeschool and so lay a suitable foundation for your children to build on regardless of what tomorrow holds.

      Always hold your plans loosely, submitting them to the Lord who is the Master Planner. His plans are far better than ours, and we must submit to them even if we don’t understand – even if it means He calls your kids to another schooling environment.

      So in all your teaching, planning, and preparation, do the best you can to make sure your kiddos know how to learn no matter what their circumstances. This way, whether the future holds public school, private school, college, or career, or whatever – they will be ready.

      Homeschool Advice Part 4 | Practical Prioritizing

      ~ Heather Davis ~ 3 Comments

      Now that I’ve emphasized the importance of prioritizing school, I thought it best to offer some practical advice on how to do this. Once you’ve reminded yourself that you are the parent and the teacher, it’s time to implement the actual “doing school” part. I promise this one will be much shorter. 🙂

      Basic Prioritizing

      When my kids were young, we kept roughly the same school schedule as our county’s public school. However, there were discrepancies. For example, we might not take President’s Day off even when our public school neighbors did, but we might take another day off for, say, a family visit while public school was in session.

      Yet this proved problematic. If my kids knew their neighborhood friends were out of school while they were still in class, I soon learned they would rush through their subjects without really attending to them in order to get to play time. One way I stopped this was to establish school hours. I would tell them no one was allowed to go out and play between the hours of 8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. or so (the hours differed year by year, and I made sure to build in enough time for them to complete their subjects fully, even in high school).

      We faced another complication in our early school years. The city we live in is split between two counties. So while our county might start school at the same time we did, the other county (at the time) started a couple of weeks later. Thus, our friends from the other district often invited us to the pool after we’d started school.

      Because I didn’t want school to be a burden, I tried to balance the way I handled such events. Occasionally, I would just say no, though I tried to make my nos rare so they would really count. More often, I would build flex time into our schedule.

      One way I did this was to ramp up into the school year by starting our longer-running subjects early. For example, we might do two days a week of two subjects two weeks before the “official” start of school, then do three days the following week, and get into full-time school the third week. This way, we had some built-in flexibility, we were eased into the school year, and it made school a more natural part of our life.

      Ramping up also closed the gap between the last day of school and the first day, so the sudden structure of the school day was less of a shock. This was by far my favorite method.

      Daily Priorities

      In addition to the school day itself, there are ways to practically prioritize subjects within the day. This will look different for each family depending on your individual strengths and weaknesses. For my kids, it worked best to do the harder and less fun subjects first thing after breakfast.

      Once my kids were about 8-9 years of age (about third grade), I began to enforce a wake up time. School started at 8:30 a.m. sharp, and they were expected to be in class and ready to learn. Of course, I made accommodations for situations like an unexpected late night or mild illnesses, but overall we kept to this schedule.

      Having the routine in place helped the kids be mentally and physically ready to learn, as well as preparing them to set and keep schedules in future endeavors, such as college or career. It also helped me plan doctor’s appointments, dinners, ministry activities, and the like.

      In the mornings after breakfast and Bible, we would start with math, spelling, or grammar. We kept all our more academic subjects before lunch. At lunch time, we would eat together and then enjoy a read aloud (a book above the highest reading level that I would read aloud to them). After lunch came fun history projects, science labs, nature walks, or more hands-on subjects.

      I also found it useful to keep ALL fun activities after lunch whenever possible, including extracurricular activities, at least while my children were in elementary school. After a short stint at a 10:00 a.m. dance class, I quickly realized that the time to get ready, get to class, and get back in time for lunch left my kids mentally checked out for school. Dance class days began to feel like a day off, so we shifted to find extra curriculars that started later in the day.

      As they got older, this rule was bent because they began to understand the importance of getting their school work done. When my son was a teenager, he was involved in Karate for Christ and was asked to teach some early classes. I told him he could do it as long as he kept school a priority, but if his grades slid, Karate would have to go. This was a fabulous growing experience for him and he handled it well, demonstrating to me his maturity by handling both commitments without letting either one waver.

      This is the method that worked for us, but I know other families who have found their kids understood math better in the evenings than the mornings. The great thing is to experiment the first few years and find the rhythm that works best for your individual family needs. Then stick to it. Period.

      No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

      Homeschool Advice Part 3 | Getting Started

      ~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

      Besides three myth-busting posts (1, 2 & 3), I’ve also offered two other posts’ worth of advice just prior to this one. However, before we go much further, I want to offer encouragement to the possibly nervous prospective homeschooler. Let’s face it: taking your kids’ education into your own hands can be daunting. If you’re like me, you may tend to drown yourself in what-ifs or start worrying about your ability to teach Algebra 2 before your little one has even learned the alphabet. If this is you, allow me to offer a little advice for getting started.

      You Will Grow into It

      For starters, you are not required to homeschool all the grades right off the bat. Whether you start in Kindergarten or you’re pulling your middle schooler out of a toxic environment to homeschool, the good news is that you will start where you are and grow into it. Don’t worry about the next step, but keep your mind on what you need to do today. God will give you the light you need for where you are now. Learn to live and thrive right there, trusting Him for what’s next.

      Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
      (Psalms 119:105)

      A friend of mine likes to comment on this verse by saying the promise is for a light for our path, not a floodlight to illuminate the whole journey. He’s not wrong. God will give us what we need when we need it, and sometimes just in the nick of time.

      Don’t forget, God’s call to homeschool may or may not be for the duration of your child’s education. I thought I would homeschool until college, but the Lord had other ideas. The year before my kids went to private school, I couldn’t have imagined us being able to afford it. Yet when God wanted them to go, He provided – and they went.

      With this in mind, I encourage you to seek the Lord each year to clarify what’s next. If He calls you to teach your own all the way through high school graduation, you can trust Him to provide the necessary tools or people in your life to fill the gaps in your own ability. With resources like homeschool co-ops, tutorials, personal tutors, Khan Academy, and more, you are definitely not alone in the journey.

      So my friend, don’t worry about how you’ll teach Finite Mathematics or Physics to your five-year-old. Focus on what you need to teach your children today, and trust the Lord to provide the light for the next step if and when you need it.

      You Are the Parent

      Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
      (Proverbs 22:15)

      When it comes to the actual fact of doing school, it’s important to remember that your child is not in control. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I vehemently despise unschooling for the very reason that it is nothing more than lazy parenting wrapped in a cutesy label. There are foundational subjects that must be learned in order to become a functional member of any society.

      Indeed, subjects such as basic math, reading comprehension, and critical thinking are also vital for a person’s own protection against manipulation from a variety of levels. And it’s up to you, the parent, to enforce this learning.

      Is it difficult? Yes! Absolutely. Parenting is not always easy, and homeschooling is basically non-stop parenting with a side of reading, writing, and arithmetic.

      Your kids will push your buttons. They will wheedle and whine and try to distract you from getting to school. They will pretend to be sick; they will take forever to eat breakfast; they will drop their pencils 87 times and take a full minute to pick them up each and every time.

      You will have days where you feel outnumbered (because if you have more than one child, you are), and you’ll have days where you find yourself casually perusing the intake forms at overseas boarding schools.

      But if you are called, don’t give up. Pray without ceasing, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: you are the parent, and by God’s grace, you can do this. Then, soldier on.

      You Are the Teacher

      When your children complain that they hate math or despise reading, tell them it’s OK – it’s actually good for us to do things we don’t enjoy! I used to tell mine, “I totally understand. I hate cleaning toilets and I don’t really feel like cooking dinner tonight, but I’ll bet you’re glad I’ll do it anyway.”

      Don’t be deceived by the homeschooling catalogues that show smiling children, eyes filled with wonder and eagerly tackling their subjects while mom beams down with unruffled hair and pride. You may have a golden day or week, but much of homeschooling is far more like trying to get chores done well, only these chores make a difference whether your kids have a firm educational foundation or not.

      It’s your job as the teacher to facilitate learning in the best way you know how. Teach to the best of your ability. Ask God – daily – for wisdom on how to teach. He will give you ideas on how to get topics across to your kiddos if you just ask, so ask away. But most of all, keep your expectations of your homeschool, your children, and yourself in reasonable bounds.

      Part of being the teacher is setting and keeping priorities. And you know what? School is a priority. I’ve already written about keeping God’s Word and prayer first. Second should be the hard work of school, no matter what else.

      Here’s the thing about homeschooling: there are a bazillion distractions. There are a ton of fun things to do, places to go, field trips to take, social opportunities to indulge. All these are good, but they can quickly overtake time you need for the basics of grammar, reading, and math. It is vital to set school hours and keep them as stringently as possible, even if there are necessary interruptions like sickness and doctor’s visits.

      This not only establishes your homeschool as a priority, it teaches kids how to prioritize work over fun and prepares them to be self-disciplined. With the amount of work-from-home options available today, it may also give them skills needed for a future career.

      School Is a Priority for You, Too

      And mom or dad? This means for you, too. School hours are just that – for school. Resist the urge to space out and play games on your phone while your kids pretend to do work. Stay engaged and keep them on task. Imagine how outraged you’d be to find out your child’s school teacher was scrolling Facebook while the class did whatever they wanted, and hold yourself to the same standard.

      Remember, homeschooling is still a job even though it doesn’t bring an income. Keep in mind your “boss” is no less than the Almighty God, so treat His calling with the diligence you would a career (or more so) despite the lack of pay.

      After all, the privilege of participating in shaping the minds of the future, while it may not make you wealthy or well-known on earth, will honor God and become a part of your eternal inheritance – an inheritance that will neither fade nor fail.

      Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).

      Homeschool Myth #3: Socialization

      ~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

      I’ve already covered two other prevailing myths (here and here) about homeschooling, and I plan this to be the final myth-busting post.. at least for now. After today, the focus will shift to sharing what I’ve learned – both triumphs and failures – in hopes that others can glean wisdom from both. But now, time to tackle the most pervasive myth I’ve encountered: the myth that homeschoolers lack proper socialization.

      Even with the mainstreaming of homeschooling in the post-pandemic world, this strange stigma still persists. If this is a fear holding you back, allow me to speak rather passionately on the absurdity of this particular fiction.

      1. Kids Don’t Attend School to Socialize

      For those of us who grew up in public school, we already know how much trouble a kid could get into for talking in class. Teachers are there to teach, not to facilitate social hour, and I know from personal experience how frustrating it is as a teacher when your students ignore the material and focus on Jenny’s new boyfriend or Joey’s new dog. Class time is meant for learning, not socializing.

      Of course there’s the 25-30 minute school lunch break, offering students enough time to line up, march through the cafeteria line, scarf down their partly-burnt, partly-frozen pizza, and hope to beat the rush to the bathroom before heading back to class. In this little window, kids do have a chance to talk while eating, but there certainly isn’t time to really flex those social muscles.

      In fact, most of social time in a school setting (public or private) happens after school hours during extra-curricular activities. Activities, I may add, that are not exclusively available to public or private schools.

      Then there’s the social time between classes in hallways, but as any public school veteran knows, these times are often dominated by cliques, bullying, or hiding from bullies.

      To be blunt, public school does not guarantee a good handle on social situations. A broken family, autistic tendencies, tragedy, abuse – there are many factors that contribute to a child’s social well-being or lack thereof. While there are opportunities in school for children to learn group dynamics, these opportunities are not limited to schools.

      A school is not the only place one may develop robust social skills. Even in the best cases, a school setting (again, public or private) still fails to provide a real-world social environment, bringing me nicely to the next point.

      2. Schools Are a Social Anomaly

      In the workplaces of the world, it is incredibly rare when an individual works exclusively with a group of peers whose birthdates are within approximately 13 months or so of his own. Unless you’re an entrepreneur working with a select group of pals developing a niche start-up, your co-workers span several decades and represent a variety of generations.

      In fact, there are very few places where people socialize only with other people the same age as them, schools being one. The reason for this is the modern mass-education approach to schooling that is not dissimilar to an assembly line.

      Kids of a certain age are developmentally able to handle certain information, thus we group them accordingly and stick the bits of info in at key points as they travel along the assembly line. This mass-production approach only serves to reinforce my first point. While it may be an OK way of passing on knowledge (as opposed to a good method), the type of socializing it provides for does not prepare children for real life situations.

      Homeschooled children, on the other hand, frequently interact with people of all ages. Because they often go along on errands, they can learn to speak to retail clerks of all ages. With the popularity of homeschool coops and group events, homeschooled children have the privilege of mixing with a variety of ages and stages outside the classroom setting. And because homeschool parents are generally involved, there is much less room for bullying, predatory actions, and other unpleasant social behaviors.

      Even when they were quite young, my children and their friends were comfortable talking to adults. We did our best to make them aware of the dangers of trusting unknown adults, of course, and I was always at hand for such encounters. But it was wonderful to watch them ask questions of the volunteers at the aquarium when we visited or get a little more in-depth look at blacksmithing or soap making from the booths at a local history fair because they did not hesitate to ask. The workers at such events often delight in sharing their knowledge, creating a beautiful win-win.

      Granted, it is possible to homeschool and cloister one’s kids away from the world, but this is a choice; a choice you do not have to make if you choose to homeschool. There are plenty of opportunities for homeschool kids to develop social skills, as we’ll discuss next.

      3. Homeschool Social Opportunities Abound

      There came a point in my homeschool journey when I realized it was quite possible to allow my brood to spend the entire school day socializing. There were field trips and clubs; PE classes and nature walks; mock governments and good, old-fashioned playdates galore. I confess I began my homeschool journey concerned about them socially, but this concern was quickly dissipated.

      In fact, after the first year, the last thing I worried about was socializing. They had plenty of that. Rather, I had to guard our class time like the crown jewels in order to keep social hours from trumping math and grammar.

      If lack of socialization is a fear of yours, don’t let it stop you from homeschooling. Instead, set yourself to prioritize learning time so the social element can be a reward rather than a key focus. Socializing comes easier to kids than algebra, after all, so don’t sweat it.

      Besides, there are some social elements you probably don’t want them to get drawn into.

      4. What about Amoral Societies?

      Socialization (noun): the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society (Source: merriam-webster.com).

      Let’s not overlook the fact that not all socialization is positive. Kids want to conform to what is seen as “normal,” but for a true disciple of Christ, this is a problem.

      Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2).

      From a cultural standpoint, “normal” is nebulous, and it does not always line up with biblical truth or the design of the Designer.

      At a not-too-distant point in history, American “normal” lined up fairly well with biblical values – even if the underlying motivations were different. There was at least a clear distinction recognized between right and wrong as well as a social stigma for crossing that line.

      You really don’t even have to fast forward to see the change, it happened so quickly. We’ve cast off many of our former restraints. Now we live in a cultural moment where individuals decide what is good or bad.

      Live your truth has replaced the idea of an objective standard of good and evil, fragmenting the very ideas of right and wrong into infinitesimal and uncountable splinters that no longer have a cohesive social whole.

      And that’s just one aspect. There are so many more. Drugs. Racial hatred. The alphabet soup agenda. Political propaganda spoon-fed to kids too young to understand politics. The bizarre ideas that what’s true for you might not be true for me or that two parties cannot disagree and still get along.

      With all this chaos dancing in the social sphere, the question becomes, “Do I really want my child to fit in to this social realm?”

      Of course, homeschooling will not shield your baby from all of it. The fact is, whether we homeschool or not, we will have to walk our children through reality in a way neither we nor previous generations had to.

      However, in homeschooling, you do have the privilege of controlling the environment just a bit more. You stand at the gates and can allow the issues to trickle in one-by-one or in pairs, tackling each one as it arises or introducing it when the Lord leads you to.

      It’s not a perfect system, but we live in an imperfect and fallen world. Thanks be to God, He has sent us a perfect Savior to rescue us from our own evil hearts and given us His Spirit to be our Guide! With His help, you can guide your young ones socially as well as academically.

      Homeschool Myth #2: You Need a Degree to Homeschool

      ~ Heather Davis ~ 4 Comments

      Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation
      (Psalms 119:97-99).

      Though homeschooling is even more mainstream than it was in my time, the decision to homeschool will always bring with it a barrage of well-meaning concern from others. Often, many of these concerns stem from homeschooling myths. In a previous post, we discussed the myth that homeschool parents must possess a bottomless well of patience. Today I want to address another myth you are likely to encounter, especially if – like me – you never obtained a college degree.

      In fact, if you lack a college degree, be prepared to face withering criticism from others who believe only a degreed teacher is adequate for the task of teaching children. Or your own insecurity over the lack may rise up to confront you (it did me!). Face it, but don’t let it get to you.

      Even if you do have a degree, doubts may still linger. Especially if your degree isn’t related to teaching, maybe it’s in mechanical engineering or marketing, you may fear or be told those skills are not transferable to homeschooling. This post is for you, too.

      In answer to all of the above, I offer that no school or textbook training can prepare a person for the actual work of teaching your own children. Even for the trained teacher, classroom teaching is quite a different animal than homeschooling. If you’ve been called by God to homeschool, I urge not to allow naysayers or self-doubt cause you grief.

      A call to homeschool is not given by a college nor by well-meaning critics; it is given by God. He is the One to please with your efforts, He is the only One who can prepare you to do the work He calls you to, and He alone is the appropriate Judge for the outcome.

      With that in mind, let’s peek into this myth.

      Myth: Only Degreed Teachers Can Teach Properly

      Respectfully, no. Just no – although I suppose I ought to elaborate.

      While i admit it may be useful in the high school years to have specialized training – especially for higher-level mathematics or sciences – the vast majority of subjects in elementary through high school learning are easily accessible to the average human being. And as for elementary school – well, it is elementary; by definition “straightforward and uncomplicated.”

      As for those higher subjects, you have picked a wonderful time to homeschool. In today’s world, there is a veritable smorgasbord of resources both for teaching and learning everything from basic math to ancient Hebrew. Historically speaking, this is a beautiful time to homeschool. Even if you are utterly incapable of teaching the high-level material, you can find a tutor, an online class, or even a dual-enrollment college course to fill the gap. Don’t let fear of high school calculus discourage you!

      But for those who insist a person must have the training afforded by a degree in order to teach, I present Exhibit A.

      Exhibit A: The Case of the Mistaken Teacher

      When I was just beginning my homeschool journey, a public school teacher in my circle vocalized strong doubt in my ability to teach my kiddos elementary math and grammar without a degree. In the same afternoon, this person shared a tale when a student corrected a geography lesson – a lesson the person had been teaching (incorrectly) for several years. The pre-pubescent student was right, and the college-educated teacher erred.

      My point? Acquiring a degree does not confer infallibility. Nor does the time, money, and effort spent in obtaining a degree magically bestow intelligence or aptitude upon the recipient.

      There are tons of brilliant humans with the proper papers in frames on their wall and a string of letters after their signature. However, I submit to you that there are also incredibly… disappointing… humans with precisely the same trappings.

      I know both homeschoolers and classroom teachers with and without degrees who are absolutely amazing teachers. I also know people in both positions who, quite frankly, stink at their jobs. Thus my argument is neither for or against college degrees. It is merely against the stipulation that a degree is required for a successful homeschool.

      Degrees Are Not Guarantees

      So, is a degree helpful in homeschooling? The best I have is – maybe.

      Assuming you’ve not yet paid off your student debt, a degree may even present an obstacle to homeschooling. Homeschooling is a full-time job where you purchase curriculum rather than earn salary so you won’t recoup the cost of a degree, if that’s what you mean.

      College training may enable you to tackle certain high school subjects with greater confidence. Then again, by the time your children arrive at that stage of learning, you may have forgotten it anyway. Or your knowledge could be out of date.

      Or you may be too busy trying to pay off your student debt to really focus on teaching the high-level material. With this in mind, I submit Exhibit B.

      Exhibit B: The Case of the Unlikely & Untrained Teacher

      Due to what amounts to a mental health crisis in my late teens and early twenties, I never completed my degree. I had a 4.0 for my one shining semester of college, yet I allowed choking despair and financial fear to dictate my decisions and did not return.

      Fast forward to the moment the Lord called me to homeschool. I was fabulously impatient, had an anger problem, and suffered from debilitating chronic migraines (which eventually became intractable) beginning in my son’s kindergarten year and continuing through most of my homeschool days.

      Not exactly a recipe for success.

      Nevertheless despite my inadequacies, God did call me and I did obey, even managing to educate my three children quite well (though not I but Christ in me).

      Did I do it perfectly? Unequivocally no. I made gobs of mistakes, and I plan to share many of them with you on this blog so you can learn from my failures. However, by God’s grace I did many things right as well – often quite by accident. These I will also share in future posts.

      Despite my glaring lack, all three of my kids had no trouble assimilating into a private high school when my husband decided to make that transition in their high school years, nor was college a problem.*

      Yes, it’s true they acquired higher-level learning before college from the private school, but the foundation was well-laid – NOT by me but by the incredible mercy of a God whose power was made perfect in my weakness (and in my degree-lessness). This is no boast of my own efforts but presented as proof of what the God who called me was able to do despite my lack of training or credentials.

      The Best Way to Teach Properly

      In short, whether you have a degree or not, you will make mistakes.

      A degree does not serve as a barrier against human fallibility. Trained and experienced teachers make mistakes, and so will you. Don’t use this as a copout for a lack of diligence, but don’t let it become an obstacle you fear, either. Instead, learn to embrace mistakes and learn from them. As I always told my kids: never waste a good mistake.

      So if you don’t need a degree to homeschool, what do you need?

      I posit the greatest need is a vibrant, healthy, and active relationship with the living God whose power is perfected in our weakness – along with humility. You won’t have all the answers, but you will have the wonderful opportunity to show your kids how to do the leg work to find the answers – a far more rewarding process in the long run.

      You also have the privilege of encouraging what a degree cannot impart either to you or your kiddos: a love for learning (and hey – model it if you really want to get the message across). Daily invite God in to find and fill the gaps. If He has called you, He will guide you through it as well – albeit often with just enough light to see the next step.

      But don’t think your obedience will guarantee you’ll churn out the next Einstein or Charles Spurgeon. God is faithful, but His purposes for your children may be less flashy than your dreams for them. I learned this the painful way.

      What I want you to take away is that you can trust the God who called you to homeschool to complete His purposes through your efforts, no matter how many or few credentials you have.

      *DISCLAIMER: This is not entirely true. One child struggled in college due in part to the pandemic but more to acquiring a bad habit of sleeping through school and making As in high school – a fact I was highly displeased with when I discovered it during his senior year. Until then, I’d wrongly believed I was paying for him to learn accountability, among other things! In this particular case, I feel strongly said child would have been better served by homeschooling through high school, as I would have dealt out consequences for sleeping in class and forced better study skills in the process. But that’s neither here nor there.

      4 More Reasons to Homeschool

      ~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

      Merely having an open mind is nothing. The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.

      G. K. Chesterton

      In the previous homeschool post, I discussed the #1 reason to go for it if you sense the Lord leading you to educate your own children. Today I want to look at four more solid reasons to homeschool. After this post, I’ll begin diving into more advice, hoping you can learn from my mistakes as well as glean wisdom from those things that, by God’s grace, I did well. 🙂 So without further ado, here are four more reasons to homeschool:

      TO Equip the Next Generation of Christians

      One key reason to homeschool is to truly equip the next generation for service to the Lord. Homeschooling puts one in a unique position to model a walk with God because your children will see you both at your best and at your worst. Thus, you will get plenty of opportunities to model not only diligent service to others, self-sacrifice, and humility; you will also have the chance to model repentance.

      Trust me on this.

      Also, the 24/7 nature of homeschooling means you get to walk out your faith in front of your children. They will see you prioritize your own time in the Word (which also gives you built-in accountability). You can point out to them the ways you see God at work in and around you, helping them to see Him as living and active and real.

      Additionally, when your kids ask difficult questions from the Bible (and they will), you have the distinct privilege of clarifying your belief system in tandem with passing it on. It’s good for them to understand it’s OK not to know all the answers; it’s equally good to dig in together – researching and wrestling out those tough theological points with the Lord. Not only will your kids learn and grow, you will as well.

      Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus

      2 Timothy 1:13

      To Raise Functional, Godly Adults

      A modern parenting myth is that parents should strive to raise happy children. I respectfully and vehemently disagree. Parents should raise God-fearing adults who are capable of resilience and stamina in a fallen world. Happiness will come and go, but “godliness with contentment is great gain” and actually assures eternal happiness that will far outlast the temporary highs and lows of physical life.

      The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

      1 Timothy 1:5

      And to be frank, you do not really want your sweet ones to be permanent children. You want them to learn to do things for themselves; to try and fail and learn that failure is not the end of the world; to step out of their comfort zone and experience difficulty so they can see God really is with them in the valleys of deep darkness – and that the darkness has an end.

      This means the goal of homeschooling should not be to coddle and shelter but to equip and prepare. Keep this thought in the back of your mind when you’re tempted to just give an A or let deadlines become negotiable or negligible.

      Sure, your second grader may be sad if you mark a big red X on her math problem or your fourth-grader may have hurt feelings from your constructive criticism of his book report. But learning that their value is not derived from their performance is more important than temporary feelings. Not to mention how learning accountability, working to achieve goals, handling feedback, and dealing with deadlines and expectations will prepare them for things like jobs and bills and marriage and ministry and life.

      And again, if I may be frank? God does not call His children to soft, pleasant pastimes. He calls us to take up our crosses daily and follow Him. It’s OK to teach this to your children. In fact, it’s recommended.

      To Teach Your Kids to Think

      And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength…

      Mark 12:30, emphasis mine

      Let’s face it: our public school system has gotten so caught up in bureaucracy, it’s long ago lost the mission of teaching a generation to think. Instead, I would argue most schools nowadays teach kids WHAT to think instead.

      Thinking is becoming a lost art. Don’t let it happen. Your kids need to learn to love God with all their mind, and you are in a position to help them become good stewards of those minds. When your kids ask for help with a problem or have a question, whether about school work or anything else, resist the temptation to tell them the answer. Instead, ask follow-up questions to help them think through it and arrive at the answer themselves.

      Invite an attitude of exploration with the divining rod of God’s Word as your center. Dive into other worldviews and dissect them according to biblical truth. Dig into tough questions about faith, culture, or even the biblical text itself. Help your kids see that God is the Author of truth and that all truth leads back to Him.

      Prepare them to think so when people spout memorized anti-Christian sentiments or cultural confusion (such as the current gender chaos) at them in college or the workplace, they will be ready to address them without fear but with confidence in the Lord who gave them a mind they are already accustomed to loving Him and others with.

      Is this harder and more time-consuming? Yes. But it is absolutely worth it.

      To Develop Lifelong Learners

      A final reason is to develop lifelong learners, not just box-checkers. You can infect your kiddos with the joy of learning about this immense and fascinating world God made as well as the depths of the Infinite God who made it.

      In a homeschool, learning isn’t confined to a classroom but seeps into every aspect of life. Children can participate from a very early age in caring for the home, learning skills like laundry and cooking, and even being a part of shopping and other mundane tasks.

      Car rides and the lunch table become places where ideas are brought out and discussed. In fact, some of our most incredible teachable moments happened in the car. So resist the easy button of handing them a device to entertain and anesthetize them when you take that hour drive to a field trip. Instead, engage your kids in conversation even when they are little. This pays out big dividends in the teen years and beyond.

      My three are in college, and I have THE best time talking to them still to this day. They are intelligent, articulate, and fascinating people, and I’m glad I stuck it out and engaged with them through endless trivia about Thomas the Tank Engine and friends or the battery of ten thousand questions before noon each day. Now when I talk to them, I’m often the one learning – especially in their respective fields of study (structural engineering, cellular & molecular biology, and kinesthesiology).

      As Tim Hawkins says it in his “Homeschool Blues” song, “They say, ‘You think you can school your kids better?’ Pretty much!”

      Homeschool Blues