Christian homeschooling

Homeschool Advice Part 7 | Read Aloud and Read a Lot

~ Heather Davis ~ 4 Comments

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” – Ray Bradbury

If you do nothing else in your homeschool, teach your children to read. Basic math is also a must, and thinking critically about what they read is equal in importance, but reading itself is an incredible skill that cannot be overstated. Since reading the Bible should be the foundation and center of all we do, it goes without saying that a person cannot understand the Scriptures unless he or she knows how to read. So, read. And read aloud. Then read some more.

Read Aloud To Them

Long before your children are capable of tackling texts themselves, I highly recommend reading to them. There is an established correlation between parents who read aloud to their very young children and the child’s later reading comprehension. Children who experience the benefits of being read aloud to often go on to not only have greater literacy and comprehension rates, but tend to read for enjoyment more often as well.

But don’t stop too soon. So many parents cease reading aloud to their kids the moment the young reader has a basic grasp of phonics and can make their way through a beginner chapter book.

This is a grave mistake. Reading is actually difficult work involving decoding signs and symbols into meaning. Often, a child can decode the words into sensible sentences long before they are capable of actually processing the greater meaning of the whole.

But when a parent reads aloud to children, their brains are free to assimilate, process, and critically think about the concepts they are hearing. They also learn the rhythms of language, gain exposure to complex syntax and use of imagery, and hear how others distill thoughts, feelings, and observations into words.

So don’t stop reading to your children the moment they crack the code for the first time. By all means, allow them the privilege and excitement of reading for themselves. Yet supplement their early reading with what I always called read-alouds; books you share as a family, read aloud by the parent and enjoyed by all.

Also – don’t stop this practice in elementary school. Read aloud to your children as long as you can. You may be surprised how long they will enjoy it.

In actual practice, I read aloud to my children until they started attending private school (in 10th and 8th grades respectively). Our read-aloud time was one thing I missed the most when homeschooling ended, and the kids expressed fondness for those times as well.

Not only did reading aloud serve as a bonding time for us as a family, it also helped each of them develop literacy, exposure to new ideas, and develop a love for reading (which, of course, varies from the middle child who seeks out and reads obscure Shakespeare plays for fun to the oldest who enjoys more modern books).

Have Them Read Aloud to You

Besides the books you read to them, be sure you insist on each child reading aloud to you for a few minutes every day. Don’t just assume they are grasping their reading lessons; be certain of it. And again, don’t stop this practice in elementary school but continue it for the duration of your homeschool.

There are several ways to do this. One simple way is to have them read a page or two of their reading/ literature, history, or science textbooks. Another great practice is to have each child take turns reading from the Bible each morning.

By hearing your children read out loud, you can be aware of areas they are misinterpreting words, skipping over difficult words or passages, or catch a myriad of problems in their infancy. Children who read aloud and have their errors corrected on the spot, who are encouraged to sound out big words, develop greater confidence and competency. It’s worth the extra effort.

Read Good Books

No matter what age or stage your children are at, they can still benefit from being read to. My number one advice for choosing a book to read aloud is to choose good, quality books with stories that stand the test of time. And choose books that are one or two levels above your child’s own reading ability.

Practically speaking, in the very early years (preschool – third grade), you have a plethora of children’s chapter books to choose from. The Moffats and other books by Eleanor Estes are fabulous, as are books like Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Ronald Dahl, and any number of children’s classics.

Do a Google search to find recommended reading lists for each grade, then choose one or more a grade or two ahead of your oldest student. In the elementary years, even young children can enjoy hearing books they may not yet be able to decode for themselves.

Note that in the elementary years, I personally recommend books that support Christian values. What you read to them will not only shape their minds but will contribute to shaping their worldviews. They are too young for abstract thinking, so be selective in your choices.

In late middle school, expand your read-aloud list to heftier material like The Screwtape Letters or Mere Christianity (7th-8th grades) by C. S. Lewis or Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton. These books may be beyond your child’s grasp, but reading them aloud and discussing them has a tremendous benefit. In books such as these, they hear the voices of Christian thinkers as well as men from another age and culture – all of which can serve your children well as their minds develop.

There is also great benefit to reading more controversial books aloud to middle school children. Don’t be afraid of what’s out there, but dive in, read it together, and examine it critically. Discuss what you read: Does the author champion a view that honors God? What parts of the book line up with Scriptural principles? Where does the book differ from God’s way? What is the main takeaway from this book? Are the themes, lifestyles, attitudes or actions those we should emulate or avoid? Why?

Don’t throw your kiddos to the wolves and hope they’ll figure it out for themselves. Jump in and wrestle it out with them.

Read Old Books

“Somebody who only reads newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else.” -Albert Einstein

One great service you can do for your children is to read older books. Take them back to a time when life was lived differently. Let them hear the flow of language, linger in the length of a long and luxurious sentence, and hear the tones, fashions, and moods of other periods in time.

By reading older books – especially when you spend time discussing what has been read – you help children see how cultural fads come and go. They can see how social norms may change but human nature never does. They are given a glimpse into the past and can learn that our modern ways of living and relating are not necessarily right just because they are current.

In short, they can learn what a small space each of us occupies, what truths endure and stand the test of time, and how true it is that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). A little humility goes a long way in learning how to think well, and books can be a great tool in learning it.

“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all.” – Abraham Lincoln

Homeschool Advice: Part 6 | Failure

~ Heather Davis ~ 2 Comments

In the early years of homeschooling, I began to re-evaluate the role of failure in life. I’d spent a good portion of my adult years berating myself for stupid mistakes, wasted time, and the like – to the ironic point of wasting more time stupidly dwelling on past mistakes. It changed when I noticed my ungodly habit rubbing off my kids and recognized the absolute desolation of refusing to learn from past mistakes.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
(2 Corinthians 7:10)

Instead, I began to tell my children what I had learned from mistakes. When they failed at something, I would repeat a phrase they likely grew sick of hearing over the years: never waste a good mistake.

I meant it. The usefulness of failure became clear to me during an afternoon chat with a neighbor on her front porch. She mentioned failing statistics several times in high school and talked about how much she hated standard deviations and probabilities. When she caught my blank stare, she asked, “Don’t you remember?”

I did not.

Ironically, I’d aced the class. Yet as the conversation progressed, it became clear she remembered far more statistics than I did despite her failures and my apparent success.

As I took this new thought to the Lord, He showed me where my personal areas of failure were now lessons more deeply etched than those areas I’d skimmed over by succeeding.

Because of this realization, I determined to not only allow my children to fail but to show them how to best learn from it. I didn’t withhold the large red X on incorrect problems, and I resisted the trend in my circles to give them straight As at the end of each grading period.

Instead, I graded appropriately. Good grades were earned, not granted. Whenever work was done incorrectly, I would bring the graded paper back to my little pupil and have them rework the problem. Together, we would think through what went wrong.

However, I did not change the grade. Instead, I provided a chance to learn from mistakes so the next grade would be better.

I wanted to challenge them, and I wanted them to fail so they would see failure is not an end. It is not a thing to be feared. Instead, failure is merely another step in the journey. In truth, failure can even be a more memorable step than instant success. Whatever we wrestle through, we tend to recall more vividly.

I’m convinced this is part of why God allows us to fail. By failing, we see our own fragility; our weakness and need for Him. Also by failing, we learn not to be afraid to try because we discover failure is not so bad, after all.

In fact, through failure, we learn humility and to better trust the God who never fails. 

"Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, 
remember the former things of old; 
for I am God, and there is no other; 
I am God, and there is none like me, 
declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done,
 saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,'
(Isaiah 46:8-10)

Homeschool Advice: Part 5 | Keep the End Game in Mind

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Today’s topic is part parenting, part homeschooling, and applicable to both: keeping an eye on the end game. What I mean is this: as you parent and teach, remember the job is to prepare your children to grow into adults who are willing to follow God at all costs; to stand firm on truth even in world hostile to truth and to be able to function long after you have been called home.

Parenting for the End Game

While it may sound idyllic to raise children in an environment free from difficulty, failure, and suffering, such a situation would actually be detrimental to their development. Without difficulty, children do not learn to trust God in times of trial; they do not learn to be resourceful and resilient. Free from any suffering, children cannot develop character and hope. Without failure, they never learn to get back up and keep going.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:3-5)

Failure in particular is so critical to development, I am planning an entire post dedicated to it, so stay tuned.

Keep in mind that the job of a Christian parent is to raise children who become functional, godly adults. The end game is, put simply, to work yourself out of a job by preparing your kids to become men and women who no longer need you. One way to do this is to encourage them to try difficult things.

By “encouraging them to try difficult things,” I’m not saying you should hand your four-year-old a meat cleaver and have her start hacking a hunk of beef into stew meat. But you can be appropriate for each age and stage and still think forward. Provide opportunities for your kids to challenge themselves, to strive for independence, to grow.

Practically speaking, let your two-year-old attempt to dress herself even if she decides to wear purple polka-dot tights with a bright orange and yellow striped tank dress and fairy wings. It may not be what you would choose for a trip to the library, but at least she’s learning a necessary skill.

Encourage your five-year-old to pour his own breakfast cereal. Enlist all ages to help with household chores, even if they don’t do a stellar job. Praise the effort anyway.

Establish nutrition boundaries and have your six-and-ups pack their own lunches for school or homeschool tutorials or field trips. Have them fold and put away their own clothes as soon as dexterity allows (even if it isn’t perfect), and once they’re tall enough to reach the laundry controls, teach them to do their own laundry.

Start laying the ground work now so they will know how to function if you end up sick – or worse. Such skills will not harm them now and can only help them in the future even if they are somehow spared any future difficulties.

Teaching for the End Game

While all the above advice could arguably be incorporated into school as “life skills,” it is primarily geared toward parenting. For the homeschooler, teaching for the end game is just as important. This means teaching with an eye to preparing them for the next step God calls them to – whether it is college, career, marriage, or something else.

As you plan your homeschool, there are two facts you should keep in mind:

1. You Do Not Know God’s Individual Call for Each Child

For your part as a homeschooler, do your best to leave all available doors open. Teach with the goal of preparing them so college is an option for them, regardless of whether or not they take it. Not all children should go on to college, but you certainly don’t want to be guilty of closing that avenue for them before they even have a chance to decide.

      One practical way to do this is by establishing a homeschool environment with structure and routine. While your homeschool cannot – and should not – look and feel exactly like a public or private school, it is wise to set up structures easily adaptable into those environments, just in case. You literally never know what the future holds, so keep the possibility of future public- or private-school attendance in mind when setting goals and planning curriculum.

      Phrased simply, teach your kids as though you might not be there tomorrow, because you never really know.

      2. You do not know how long God will call you to homeschool.

      Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” James 4:13–15 (ESV).

      We live in a broken world, and because of that, terrible tragedies happen. Twice during my kids’ lifetimes, I contracted meningitis. By the grace of God, neither case was bacterial. Though both cases involved hospitalization and left residual health issues in their wake, I was able to continue being both mom and teacher.

      However.

      Both times made me realize how fleeting life really is. Had one or the other been a bacterial infection, there’s a solid chance I would not be writing these words today. It’s a good reminder that none of us ever know the date our lives will be required of us.

      Morbidity aside, there are other reasons your homeschool may be more temporary than you planned. It’s wise not to assume you will always homeschool and so lay a suitable foundation for your children to build on regardless of what tomorrow holds.

      Always hold your plans loosely, submitting them to the Lord who is the Master Planner. His plans are far better than ours, and we must submit to them even if we don’t understand – even if it means He calls your kids to another schooling environment.

      So in all your teaching, planning, and preparation, do the best you can to make sure your kiddos know how to learn no matter what their circumstances. This way, whether the future holds public school, private school, college, or career, or whatever – they will be ready.

      Homeschool Advice Part 4 | Practical Prioritizing

      ~ Heather Davis ~ 3 Comments

      Now that I’ve emphasized the importance of prioritizing school, I thought it best to offer some practical advice on how to do this. Once you’ve reminded yourself that you are the parent and the teacher, it’s time to implement the actual “doing school” part. I promise this one will be much shorter. 🙂

      Basic Prioritizing

      When my kids were young, we kept roughly the same school schedule as our county’s public school. However, there were discrepancies. For example, we might not take President’s Day off even when our public school neighbors did, but we might take another day off for, say, a family visit while public school was in session.

      Yet this proved problematic. If my kids knew their neighborhood friends were out of school while they were still in class, I soon learned they would rush through their subjects without really attending to them in order to get to play time. One way I stopped this was to establish school hours. I would tell them no one was allowed to go out and play between the hours of 8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. or so (the hours differed year by year, and I made sure to build in enough time for them to complete their subjects fully, even in high school).

      We faced another complication in our early school years. The city we live in is split between two counties. So while our county might start school at the same time we did, the other county (at the time) started a couple of weeks later. Thus, our friends from the other district often invited us to the pool after we’d started school.

      Because I didn’t want school to be a burden, I tried to balance the way I handled such events. Occasionally, I would just say no, though I tried to make my nos rare so they would really count. More often, I would build flex time into our schedule.

      One way I did this was to ramp up into the school year by starting our longer-running subjects early. For example, we might do two days a week of two subjects two weeks before the “official” start of school, then do three days the following week, and get into full-time school the third week. This way, we had some built-in flexibility, we were eased into the school year, and it made school a more natural part of our life.

      Ramping up also closed the gap between the last day of school and the first day, so the sudden structure of the school day was less of a shock. This was by far my favorite method.

      Daily Priorities

      In addition to the school day itself, there are ways to practically prioritize subjects within the day. This will look different for each family depending on your individual strengths and weaknesses. For my kids, it worked best to do the harder and less fun subjects first thing after breakfast.

      Once my kids were about 8-9 years of age (about third grade), I began to enforce a wake up time. School started at 8:30 a.m. sharp, and they were expected to be in class and ready to learn. Of course, I made accommodations for situations like an unexpected late night or mild illnesses, but overall we kept to this schedule.

      Having the routine in place helped the kids be mentally and physically ready to learn, as well as preparing them to set and keep schedules in future endeavors, such as college or career. It also helped me plan doctor’s appointments, dinners, ministry activities, and the like.

      In the mornings after breakfast and Bible, we would start with math, spelling, or grammar. We kept all our more academic subjects before lunch. At lunch time, we would eat together and then enjoy a read aloud (a book above the highest reading level that I would read aloud to them). After lunch came fun history projects, science labs, nature walks, or more hands-on subjects.

      I also found it useful to keep ALL fun activities after lunch whenever possible, including extracurricular activities, at least while my children were in elementary school. After a short stint at a 10:00 a.m. dance class, I quickly realized that the time to get ready, get to class, and get back in time for lunch left my kids mentally checked out for school. Dance class days began to feel like a day off, so we shifted to find extra curriculars that started later in the day.

      As they got older, this rule was bent because they began to understand the importance of getting their school work done. When my son was a teenager, he was involved in Karate for Christ and was asked to teach some early classes. I told him he could do it as long as he kept school a priority, but if his grades slid, Karate would have to go. This was a fabulous growing experience for him and he handled it well, demonstrating to me his maturity by handling both commitments without letting either one waver.

      This is the method that worked for us, but I know other families who have found their kids understood math better in the evenings than the mornings. The great thing is to experiment the first few years and find the rhythm that works best for your individual family needs. Then stick to it. Period.

      No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).