Christian education

Homeschool Advice Part 8 | Stay Engaged

~ Heather Davis ~ Leave a comment

Once again, this advice is for all parents, not just homeschoolers. Whether your kids are never out of your sight or you hardly see them; whether they receive their schooling directly from you, from a public school, private school, or a hybrid; literally no matter what is going on in your life with children, the advice is the same: stay engaged.

I know firsthand how tempting it can be to zone out during your homeschool day. Especially once your children reach the age where you become more educational facilitator than hands-on teacher, it’s easy to just let them go do their thing and assume all is well.

Resist this temptation.

Instead, stay engaged in the educational process. Initiate discussions. Ask questions. Have your learners repeat the information they are reading out loud. Not only will this simple practice keep you fully connected with their strengths and weaknesses, it will help them retain their lessons. It is wholly worth the extra few minutes.

Avoid Easy Buttons

Another bit of advice in this realm: don’t waste one of the greatest assets you have as a homeschooler – the ability to review mistakes made in homework. In my words: never waste a good mistake. All mistakes are fantastic opportunities to learn. So, don’t hit the easy button and just discard your kids’ work. Stay engaged in the entire process of learning, grading, and reviewing.

I recommend what I did – grade your children’s homework daily, then take time to go over not only what they missed but why they missed it. Sure, it takes extra effort on your part, but I promise the benefits for them vastly outweigh the inconvenience to you.

This process of reviewing missed problems or questions allows your children the enormous blessing of learning from their mistakes. Plus, it keeps you accountable for not letting things slide on the administrative end.

Win-win.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

Another easy button to avoid is entertainment in the car. Those trips to and from activities or field trips provide excellent opportunities for conversation. You have a captive audience – as long as you don’t surrender your kids’ attention to technology.

By God’s grace, I avoided the use of technology in the car until my kids were nearly college-aged, and as a result, I was blessed with a multitude of incredible teachable moments and deep conversations. It always amazed me what would come up naturally in the course of passenger-seat conversations.

I still treasure our many (often hilarious) car-ride convos and have never once regretted leaving the distractions behind. To this day, my now college-aged kids prefer chatting in the car to zoning out on their devices when we are driving together.

Deadlines

One critical commitment you must make as the homeschool teacher is enforcing firm deadlines. When my kids were still babies, I began to research the pros and cons of homeschooling. I learned one of the most often reported complaints from colleges was the inability of homeschoolers to meet deadlines.

(And yes, I did in fact contact college admissions departments before my oldest turned four…)

As a Christian, this deadline failure ought to be an ouch moment.

Think of it this way – instead of demonstrating reliability, trustworthiness, and faithfulness, homeschoolers instead present a lax, disrespectful, and slovenly attitude toward other people’s time. An inability to meet deadlines and keep appointments displays a lack of integrity. It is both rude and irresponsible.

Not only would such a failing reflect poorly on your student, it dishonors our Lord. As Christians (homeschooling or no), we bear Christ’s name. Because of this, we are His ambassadors; thus, we should strive to do whatever it takes to make Him look good – reflecting His integrity and excellence to a watching world.

Even if it means doing hard, inconvenient tasks in our homeschool days.

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

On a practical level, think of what failing to enforce deadlines teaches your student about the real world. When rent or the electric bill comes due, deadlines become quite important. If your student goes to college, they will need to submit their work on time. If they enter the work force, they will still be required to show up on time and meet goals or target dates for their work.

Slippery deadlines are a HUGE temptation as a homeschooler. Yet I urge you – do not be careless with this vital skill. It has far too many real-world ramifications.

When you’re tempted to “show grace” on a deadline, imagine a doctor rolling in a couple of hours after the scheduled surgery while you lay prepped on the table or an electrician putting off an appointment to fix a smoking outlet for a week or two. Then be firm and hold your students accountable.

Homeschooling as a Job

One major way to keep yourself engaged is to treat homeschooling (or parenting) like a “real” job – even though it is a job you pay to do rather than getting paid.

Think of it as your full-time career with the Lord as your boss – because, well, that’s exactly what is going on if you are called to homeschool.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).

With this in mind, imagine your response if you sent your kids to a public or private institution and discovered the teachers were busy scrolling Instagram, never bothered to look over homework, or just decided to take the day off and watch movies once or twice a week.

Most of us would be outraged to discover this was going on in school, yet we find it all too easy to excuse the exact same behaviors in ourselves! Not cool.

Your kids’ education and well-being is worth the effort it takes for you to do the job well – not perfectly, of course, but to the best of your ability.

Don’t underestimate the trickle-down effect of slack behavior. If you demonstrate negligence, your kids will pick up the cue that cutting corners or scrimping on quality is an acceptable way of living life. Instead, model hard work, integrity, and personal sacrifice for the sake of God’s ways so they learn to do the same.

Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys (Proverbs 18:9).

Stay Engaged in Kingdom Work

Finally, stay engaged and look for gospel opportunities throughout your day. Homeschooling is not only about educating your child’s mind but also about discipling his heart. It is Kingdom work, and it is work with an eternal impact.

Keep the Word of God foremost in all you do. Look for chances to point out God’s work in your daily life, and draw attention to evidence of His mercy, grace, and goodness. Exalt Him wherever possible, even in the mundane details of your homeschool.

Final Thoughts

While it seems as if these years will drag on forever, they won’t. Your time with your children is precious and limited. Don’t squander it. All of the advice I’m writing out comes from a place of mingled regret where I failed and joy where I succeeded in my homeschool and parenting.

In homeschooling, I had no mentor, and I learned a great deal from failures. My heart’s desire is to give you a leg up so you can land on the other side with more successes and fewer failures than I. And above all, my hope is God can be glorified through sharing both my mistakes and my successes in homeschooling and beyond.

Homeschool Advice Part 7 | Read Aloud and Read a Lot

~ Heather Davis ~ 4 Comments

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” – Ray Bradbury

If you do nothing else in your homeschool, teach your children to read. Basic math is also a must, and thinking critically about what they read is equal in importance, but reading itself is an incredible skill that cannot be overstated. Since reading the Bible should be the foundation and center of all we do, it goes without saying that a person cannot understand the Scriptures unless he or she knows how to read. So, read. And read aloud. Then read some more.

Read Aloud To Them

Long before your children are capable of tackling texts themselves, I highly recommend reading to them. There is an established correlation between parents who read aloud to their very young children and the child’s later reading comprehension. Children who experience the benefits of being read aloud to often go on to not only have greater literacy and comprehension rates, but tend to read for enjoyment more often as well.

But don’t stop too soon. So many parents cease reading aloud to their kids the moment the young reader has a basic grasp of phonics and can make their way through a beginner chapter book.

This is a grave mistake. Reading is actually difficult work involving decoding signs and symbols into meaning. Often, a child can decode the words into sensible sentences long before they are capable of actually processing the greater meaning of the whole.

But when a parent reads aloud to children, their brains are free to assimilate, process, and critically think about the concepts they are hearing. They also learn the rhythms of language, gain exposure to complex syntax and use of imagery, and hear how others distill thoughts, feelings, and observations into words.

So don’t stop reading to your children the moment they crack the code for the first time. By all means, allow them the privilege and excitement of reading for themselves. Yet supplement their early reading with what I always called read-alouds; books you share as a family, read aloud by the parent and enjoyed by all.

Also – don’t stop this practice in elementary school. Read aloud to your children as long as you can. You may be surprised how long they will enjoy it.

In actual practice, I read aloud to my children until they started attending private school (in 10th and 8th grades respectively). Our read-aloud time was one thing I missed the most when homeschooling ended, and the kids expressed fondness for those times as well.

Not only did reading aloud serve as a bonding time for us as a family, it also helped each of them develop literacy, exposure to new ideas, and develop a love for reading (which, of course, varies from the middle child who seeks out and reads obscure Shakespeare plays for fun to the oldest who enjoys more modern books).

Have Them Read Aloud to You

Besides the books you read to them, be sure you insist on each child reading aloud to you for a few minutes every day. Don’t just assume they are grasping their reading lessons; be certain of it. And again, don’t stop this practice in elementary school but continue it for the duration of your homeschool.

There are several ways to do this. One simple way is to have them read a page or two of their reading/ literature, history, or science textbooks. Another great practice is to have each child take turns reading from the Bible each morning.

By hearing your children read out loud, you can be aware of areas they are misinterpreting words, skipping over difficult words or passages, or catch a myriad of problems in their infancy. Children who read aloud and have their errors corrected on the spot, who are encouraged to sound out big words, develop greater confidence and competency. It’s worth the extra effort.

Read Good Books

No matter what age or stage your children are at, they can still benefit from being read to. My number one advice for choosing a book to read aloud is to choose good, quality books with stories that stand the test of time. And choose books that are one or two levels above your child’s own reading ability.

Practically speaking, in the very early years (preschool – third grade), you have a plethora of children’s chapter books to choose from. The Moffats and other books by Eleanor Estes are fabulous, as are books like Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Ronald Dahl, and any number of children’s classics.

Do a Google search to find recommended reading lists for each grade, then choose one or more a grade or two ahead of your oldest student. In the elementary years, even young children can enjoy hearing books they may not yet be able to decode for themselves.

Note that in the elementary years, I personally recommend books that support Christian values. What you read to them will not only shape their minds but will contribute to shaping their worldviews. They are too young for abstract thinking, so be selective in your choices.

In late middle school, expand your read-aloud list to heftier material like The Screwtape Letters or Mere Christianity (7th-8th grades) by C. S. Lewis or Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton. These books may be beyond your child’s grasp, but reading them aloud and discussing them has a tremendous benefit. In books such as these, they hear the voices of Christian thinkers as well as men from another age and culture – all of which can serve your children well as their minds develop.

There is also great benefit to reading more controversial books aloud to middle school children. Don’t be afraid of what’s out there, but dive in, read it together, and examine it critically. Discuss what you read: Does the author champion a view that honors God? What parts of the book line up with Scriptural principles? Where does the book differ from God’s way? What is the main takeaway from this book? Are the themes, lifestyles, attitudes or actions those we should emulate or avoid? Why?

Don’t throw your kiddos to the wolves and hope they’ll figure it out for themselves. Jump in and wrestle it out with them.

Read Old Books

“Somebody who only reads newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else.” -Albert Einstein

One great service you can do for your children is to read older books. Take them back to a time when life was lived differently. Let them hear the flow of language, linger in the length of a long and luxurious sentence, and hear the tones, fashions, and moods of other periods in time.

By reading older books – especially when you spend time discussing what has been read – you help children see how cultural fads come and go. They can see how social norms may change but human nature never does. They are given a glimpse into the past and can learn that our modern ways of living and relating are not necessarily right just because they are current.

In short, they can learn what a small space each of us occupies, what truths endure and stand the test of time, and how true it is that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). A little humility goes a long way in learning how to think well, and books can be a great tool in learning it.

“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all.” – Abraham Lincoln