**My Wednesday night Bible study group just wrapped up, and I was asked to share for 3-4 minutes on the final night. I had to trim it to make it fit, but below is the uncut version of my wilderness musings from Exodus 1-19. **
I don’t know about you guys, but I love a good plan. I’ve traveled a lot in the last couple of months, so I guess travel plans have been on my mind while we’ve journeyed through the first half of Exodus. When I travel, I like to know where I’m going, how I’m going to get there, how long it will take, if there’s traffic or other obstacles ahead, and preferably any stops along the way.
But that’s not always how God works, is it?
Exodus, chapter 3 records Moses’s encounter with the Living God at the burning bush. This is where God calls him to return to Egypt, speak with Pharoah – Egypt’s god-king – and bring the people of Israel out of slavery and into freedom. God gives Moses a rather unusual promise in verse 12; “But I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”
Notice God did not tell Moses how long it would take, how far they would have to travel, what obstacles they might encounter along the way, or even what serving God on the mountain would look like once they got there. Just – obey Me and when you’re done, you’ll serve Me here.
It reminded me of this new season of life I’m in. I know God is sending me on a new leg of the journey but I’m a little sketchy on the route.
The one time in my life where I was perfectly clear about what God was calling me to do was the call to homeschool my 3 children. In part, it was clear because I went into it a lot like Moses at the burning bush – I really don’t think I can; I’m not qualified; “Lord, please send someone else to do it?”
He didn’t, so from kindergarten until my oldest was in 10th grade, I was a homeschool mom. And yes, I had a plan and knew where we were going – or I thought I did.
But the journey took an unexpected turn, and they all went to a private high school. Then college. Now the baby is married, the oldest is engaged, and the middle one is in medical school. And frankly, I have no idea where anyone is going anymore, except that I’m still trudging toward the ultimate Promised Land.
See, I lived in full rebellion to my Creator in my late teens and early twenties. In His mercy, God rescued me from my sin-slavery by introducing His Son – the Lamb – who shed His blood in payment for my crimes against my King. But I had to accept His forgiveness and choose to leave my proverbial Egypt.
My kids grew up differently than I did, and I’m not sure they fully grasp how heinous sin-slavery truly is. Some of their decisions cause me to shudder because I’ve been in the grip of certain sins, and I know the damage they cause. Even though I’m forgiven for my past crimes, the consequences remain. I’d always hoped my kids would be on fire for the Lord and not engage in the sorts of sin that leave scars even after they’ve been healed and forgiven.
Recently, I had a mental image of repentance as the act of painting the doorposts and lintels of our hearts with the Lamb’s blood so the Destroyer will pass over. And while I can tell others about Jesus and His sacrifice, I can’t make them paint the doorposts and lintels of their own hearts. I can pray for them to understand His grace, but the timing of how that prayer is answered is up to God. They each have to walk their own journey with Jesus, and I’m not privy to the details.
My kids and others I love have to choose to recognize their own spiritual Egypt and leave it behind. I can’t make anyone crave Jesus, the true Manna or the Living Water when Egypt is so close, they can still smell pots of savory meat.
In short, I can’t make anyone love Him more than they love their sin. But I can fix my eyes on Jesus, not on what others are or are not doing.
For my loved ones, understanding may require making their slavery harsher for a time, like Israel having to make bricks without straw. It might require them to have their backs to the proverbial sea while the enemy’s forces bear down on them or to experience desperate thirst before they are provided with the Living Water. It will almost certainly involve a long, difficult trek through wild and arid places with no idea what tomorrow holds, trusting God each step of the way.
I know it took all of that and more for me, and I still forget to focus on my destination and grumble about the journey from time to time. This in between time after being rescued from sin-slavery until the time I reach the true Promised Land can be wearying. I do so long for the day when God’s perfect plan will be fulfilled – and frankly, I’d kind of like a glimpse into the details.
But I’ve been reminded that God’s plan is actually perfect, even when His timing doesn’t make sense to me. Even when He doesn’t give me a road map.
He loves my kids more than I do, and I can trust Him with their lives. After all, Jesus gave His life for them. What more can I ask?
