Wisdom Seeker: Day 31

Proverbs 31

Well, we’ve reached the end of Proverbs and the final day of my semi-sensical ramblings. I’ve enjoyed this exercise and it’s definitely helped me think through the wisdom found in Proverbs as well as practice writing whether I love what I have to say or not… So thank you for putting up with me!

Now, on to today’s thought:

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

The final proverb has good advice for young men and for young women both. Definitely read it all. What I want to focus on today, however, is the second to last verse.

I am 45 years old. As I write these words (a day early due to an extremely early cross country race on Saturday), my youngest – my baby – is 15 years old.

Fifteen years ago, I gave birth via C-section to my last child, a young lady who attempted to come into the world feet first and so defied my plans of natural child birth. She’s been her own person ever since, and I love her tons. She is a rare and unique delight – as are all three of my children.

Thinking back, fifteen years ago, I was still young. My body looked completely different. My face bore less wrinkles, my head boasted more hair (and none of it gray), and my energy still kept up with the the daylight hours.

Now, youth is fading – fast! I don’t struggle with weight like some women my age do, but I still struggle with the arrangement of the weight I have being entirely different from 20 years ago. The scale reads the same but the clothing from then does not fit the same.

TMI for you fellas here, but I seem to be nearing the finish line as far as the capacity for childbearing goes. I am not young anymore.

But I am more joyful than ever before in my life. Finally, I have a stronger grasp of the extent of God’s grace. Finally, I feel the burden of having to be and do to be lifted. All I have to do is follow Him. That’s it.

It’s not that I feel I’m above the laws and commandments – far from it! The longer I’ve walked with Yeshua, the more I’ve loved Him. The more pain I’ve suffered, the more I’ve appreciate the pain He chose to suffer for me – on purpose.

And the more I love and appreciate Him, the more I find that to obey Him IS joy.

Charm? Not sure I ever had much of that. Beauty? If I had it, it’s definitely fleeting – and I see it fleeing faster and faster these days!

I do fear the Lord, though I prefer all the praises to go to Him. He is worthy!!

Romans – Creature Worship

Romans 1:16-32

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

(Romans 1:24-25)

It’s a simple matter too look at this passage and dismiss it entirely as irrelevant. After all, there are no little stone gods nor candlelit alcoves in honor of carved images in my house.

And yet I find I am not so innocent after all.

When I examine my life in the light of the Word of God, I have to confess there are times when I have “worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator:” a creature named Heather Davis.

This self-worship is called “pride” and it is detestable to a holy God – a putting of self in His rightful place.

With this in mind, as I read verse 18, I found not a condemnation of all those godless and wicked people out there in the world, but a warning that my life must not suppress the truth.

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.
(Romans 1:18)

Like Paul, I need to live as one who is not ashamed of the Good News, keeping in mind the fact that my role is one of immense and grave privilege. I am an ambassador for the King of kings and Lord of lords. As such, the way I live my life reflects Him, and if I live for myself, it reflects him inaccurately.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.
(Romans 1:28)

Moving on to verse 28, I have to ask myself: How does this apply to me? It is of no use to read this on behalf of others only. Have I lived so the world can know I not only consider God worth knowing, I consider Him worth loving and obeying? Or do I put my own comfort, desires, or preferences in a position of higher authority than His will?

These are sobering questions. As I read on, I find I have been envious. I have been guilty of both slander and gossip, of acting maliciously, of foolishness and arrogance. I have been faithless.

As much as I would like to declare these are all sins from my distant past, I must be honest. I have been guilty of many of them in recent days.

And I am sorry. Truly, genuinely sorry. Not because of the people I have hurt, though I am sorry for them as well. Most of all, I am sorry for tarnishing the good Name of my Creator.

I do not applaud these things – not in me, not in others. Instead, I ask each day for the Lord to open my eyes to them in myself. My desire and intense longing is to walk humbly before my God, worship Him as God and dying to that twisted old creature called self.

Interestingly enough, all of my failures and crimes really only prove the truth of the basic tenants of my faith.

I am a sinner, incapable of saving myself. I am in need of a Savior, and when I fall, I cling to Him. I am thankful for Him not because I am so wonderful, but because I am so wretched.

Understanding this, how could I fail to worship such a merciful and magnificent Creator?

He must increase, and I must decrease!

Lord, have Your way in me. Forgive my every act of self- aggrandizement and change my life to one lived fully for You. May I be a tool useful to You, never suppressing Your Truth but living it out in heartfelt humility and joy in Your salvation, amen.

Let Your Rules Help Me: Psalms 119:169-176

Psalms 119:169-176

After many weeks of work, we have come to the end of the longest psalm in the Bible. Congratulations! I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have.

OK, I admit that sometimes, the work was difficult and I battled the temptation to give up, but here at the end as I try to cram the last few verses into memory, I am truly glad I did not quit. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

I absolutely adore the way David ends this psalm. The entire thing began with “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord…” and it ends with “I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments.”

He begins with the knowledge that walking according to God’s rules leads to blessedness, and he concludes with the realization that he cannot actually do this on his own, asking God to seek him like a lost sheep. Can you relate? I surely can.

The longer I walk with God and the more I read, meditate on, and trust in His words, the more humbled I become. The more I see myself as a poor and foolish little sheep, ever straying from the safety of my Shepherd’s side, needing Him to constantly keep me under His care. So to wrap this project up, I’m going to walk line-by-line through this final stanza and personalize it into my own prayer.

Again, thanks for coming along with me on this journey, and may the Spirit of God whisper the living words of God to you again and again in time of need! I hope this is not the end of memory work for you but only a beginning. May a deep and abiding hunger for the things of God be awakened within all of us, consuming us with a passion for His Kingdom and enduring until the end of time.

Let my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word! Let my plea come before you; deliver me according to your word.

My Sovereign, I need You to guide my understanding. Please hear my cries and answer my pleas. Grant that Your servant may be filled with Your Holy Spirit so that each new day brings a deeper understanding of Your word and of what You would have me to do.

My lips will pour forth praise, for you teach me your statutes. My tongue will sing of your word, for all your commandments are right.

As long as You teach me, I will praise Your name. Make me an eternal student of the living God, and remind me to sing for joy of the Living Word who is full of compassion, goodness, truth, and wisdom. Teach my tongue to rejoice and bring glory to You. Sanctify my mouth and make it a holy tool for Your use. 

 Let your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O LORD, and your law is my delight.

And how I need Your help! The longer I walk with You, the more clearly I see the truth behind Jesus’ words, “Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” Please give me the help I need when I stagger from weariness or stray from weakness, for I truly desire to belong to Your fold. I long for that day when my salvation will be complete, when I can delight myself in Your presence and Your law without the corrupting influence of sin and selfishness. 

Let my soul live and praise you, and let your rules help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments.

Lord, I can think of no better way to end than this. Let Your rules help me. Seek me, for I am lost and I am prone to wander, yet I remain Your servant and even in times of weakness, Your commandments are close to my mind and heart. I am Yours; save me!

Great Peace: Psalms 119:161-168

Psalms 119:161-168

Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble…

Oh, how I need to remind myself of these words at this season of life! The ceaseless, 24/7 parenting of a home school family can, at times, be emotionally exhausting during the teen and tween years. For one thing, it can be difficult to remember not to take the things they say and do personally, especially when many of the words and actions seem so personal.

This morning, I was reminded of a section in the book, For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. In her book, she lays out the results of extensive research she has conducted about what is going on in the minds of the young men and women who have, quite suddenly, replaced the little boys and little girls in our families (or will one day soon for those of you who are still surrounded by little ones).

In one chapter, Mrs. Feldhahn writes about the somewhat harrowing process that our young people go through as they grow, a time when each child reaches a point where they take a hard look at the values we, as parents, have worked so hard to pass on to them. No matter what, there will come a time where the child will examine every single principle we have instilled with a critical eye, mulling over all they know of this world and wondering to themselves, “This is a part of who my parents are, but is it a part of who I am?”

Maybe it’s just me, or maybe this process seems especially painful for the homeschool mom who has devoted the bulk of her adult life, not to career building nor personal satisfaction, but to investing most of her waking hours to teaching, training, and hopefully discipling her children in Christ. Each examination of my values feels very personal; each apparent rejection seems to be evidence of a cataclysmic failure to do the job even reasonably well.

However, my hope is ultimately not in my children nor their choices, but in my Lord and His word. I admit that do not always feel great peace, and in my actions and attitudes I do stumble, yet He is greater than it all. Though my faith may ebb at times, the core of my trust in God does not actually stumble. I still know that He is good, that His faithfulness is great and His mercy never ceases.

When I am tempted to despair, it is love for Him and His Word that keeps me from sinking. Even when I do not see how, I know in the very core of my being that He can bring revival to the coldest and darkest of hearts. When I look at my own little brood, I see a mirror of all my deficiencies and mistakes, yet I also see that their hearts are nowhere near as dark nor as cold as mine was at their age.

And so I do love His law. Perhaps especially in this emotionally draining season.of parenting, I love the law of God and I need it like oxygen. I have to remind myself that they, too, must experience Him personally, so I will pray diligently for them, giving my all to whatever He gives my hand to do, and trusting Him for the results.

The prophet Isaiah wrote, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock” (Isaiah 26:3-4).  Indeed.

God, You are my Rock. Thank You that You have chosen to reveal Yourself to we who are the work of Your hands. Teach our hearts to love Your law, teach our children’s hearts to love it, and let nothing make us stumble. Please, O Lord, in Your goodness, grant us the great peace of a steadfast and unshakable commitment to You. 



The Sum: Psalm 119:153-160

Psalms 119:153-160

The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever.

As we draw nearer the end of this Psalm, I am reminded of the reason I began working through committing it to memory in the first place. My desire, my goal, was that God would awaken a greater hunger for His word and for His truth within myself and possibly even others. It is still my prayer that we will be reminded of the true life that is lived in Christ, not just during this time, but abiding in the Living Word of God from this time forward.

And so, on we go…

Reading through this stanza as David pleads for life not once but three times in eight lines, I can’t help but wonder if his own moments of faithlessness inspired both the pleas and the expressions of disgust. I can’t speak for him, but I do know that my own wickedness is a source of great distress for me. It is when I am faced with my own stubborn pride and my sin that I feel both crushing sorrow and unbelievable gratitude for the Lord’s mercy.

As I have meditated on these words, I lift my voice in prayer that God will grant spiritual life, not only to my family and myself, but to all His people. I am asking for a great awakening, for all our eyes to be open to our sin, for contrite and humble hearts, for repentance, and for zeal for His Kingdom to consume us.

It is not earthly pleasures and physical life we need the most right now, but a great rousing of spiritual life. At this point in history, perhaps especially in America, the life we need most desperately is this other-worldly life that comes of being dead to sin and alive to God in Christ. I pray today for this abundant life to flow through God’s people as we abide in Christ and make His truth our firm foundation.

On this holy week as we look back at the sacrifice of Jesus and His resurrection, it is a good time to be reminded that the sum of God’s word is truth. The world seems to be crumbling around us, and even those who identify themselves as Christian seem to be in confusion over what Jesus did as well as what His followers should do about it.

This is why I pray so fervently and frequently for a return to the Word of God. Even within the Church, there are many who doubt the veracity of the Bible. Many believe its authority has been dimmed with time, that its precepts are quaint and old-fashioned; that the Bible itself is an interesting book with an overall good moral message but that it is full of holes, myths, and irrelevant sayings.

My friends, this is simply not true. Nor is it true that we can take the bits of the Bible that are convenient and leave behind those hard truths that make us uncomfortable or bring conviction. No, indeed, sometimes the Word that brings the sorrow of contrition are the parts we need to hear the most. The sum of His word is truth.

Mathematically speaking, a sum requires that all parts are added to make the whole. Even so, God’s word cannot be taken piecemeal, nor can some bits be embraced while others are discarded. The sum — the totality of the whole word — is truth.  His righteous rules will endure forever. When I think on these things, I am reminded of my frailty and I thank the Lord again that His mercy is great!

Lord, grant that we never take Your mercy for granted, but live in a state of gratitude for it. May we, Your people, wake up and become serious about knowing and loving all parts of Your Word. May we, guided by the Holy Spirit, accurately total the sum. May it be said of us that we love Your precepts, and may we live lives of gentle and reverent boldness based not on a portion of the Word of God, but on the sum. 


Founded Forever: Psalm 119:145-152

Psalm 119:145-152

With my whole heart I cry; answer me, O Lord! I will keep Your statutes.
I call to you; save me, that I may observe your testimonies.
I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words.


In the present season of my life, these words perfectly express my increasing sense both of my dependence on God and of my own weakness. Today, I find myself in the midst of prayerful and expectant waiting; a time of pruning in which even some branches I believed might bear fruit are being stripped away.

Ugly and bare as my life looks now (at least to me), I know that the Vinedresser is experienced and wise. His shears never trim any shoot useful to Him but only the suckers which may look innocent or even beautiful, yet sap the strength of the plant, robbing it of maximum potential.

Yet I do not wait passively as He removes the excess. As I wait, I cry out to Him with my whole heart, just as David writes. I, too, long to keep His statutes, but I also know from experience the extend of my feebleness in doing so. It is only through His grace that I can stay on the narrow path at all.

Other heart-cries are for His intervention in situations beyond my control; some unnameable, others are requests that my children or other loved ones to choose always to walk in His ways. I find myself frequently rising before dawn to cry for His help in these matters; believing that He will save, redeem, and restore but persisting in asking as I recall Jesus’ on words in Luke 11:8-9.

In addition to these, I voice my wholehearted appeal before God to guide my family well, to give my husband Godly wisdom in his leadership, and to make clear our understanding for all decisions we make. In numerous ways I am at a crossroads during this time of pruning, and I desperately desire my Lord’s direction and His counsel. When the time comes to move forward, I want to know which way to direct my feet.

And so I pray and I wait for His answers, but I do not wait alone. Many friends are also waiting on decisions, wisdom from God, or His help in troubled times. In my prayers, I make supplication to the Almighty for them as well.

When my mind becomes anxious or afraid, I have taken to meditating on His promises, as David writes; sometimes early and sometimes late.  Again, as the morning dawns, I raise my voice again, calling on the Lord of Hosts to fight for His people, to guide His people, to grant us wisdom, to wake us up.

When He seems to delay in His answers, while waiting on a clear purpose or direction I simply hope in His words. His ways are good, and I take comfort that His testimonies are established forever, from a time more ancient than stone and continuing through the reach of eternity far beyond that point at which my mind falters and fails.

So long as I remain planted among the thorns of the earth, it is good to know that He is near and that all His commandments are true. This knowledge brings great joy in times of uncertainty, and for that I am thankful.

Mighty God, we wait on You to quicken us to life, and while we wait we cry out to You for help, asking that You answer us and guide us in the way we should go. Teach us to keep Your statutes, to meditate on Your promises, to rise early with our heart-cries on our lips. Thank You that You are unchanging and that Your testimonies are established forever. Thank You for being the firm Foundation on which we can stand and build!


Righteous Forever:Psalm 119:137-144

Psalms 119:137-144

Righteous are you, O LORD, and right are your rules…Your righteousness is righteous forever, and your law is true…

Concrete words for an abstract society.

I cannot help but be puzzled by this society we live in today; this odd place in human history where opinion and sensation are elevated above logic and reason to the extent that even biologically evident facts are called into question. Indeed, the modern definition of truth is so fluid that the very ground beneath our feet often seems to morph and shift with the unstable currents of pop-culture fancy. In this place and at this moment, we are in desperate need of solid ground.

I am reminded of a book I recently read; the true story of an acquaintance of my dad’s who survived more than 24 hours of ruthless pounding by an angry sea after being washed overboard in a colossal storm. His captain was also thrown into the sea with him, and the two men strove to help one another until the captain’s strength finally gave out and he perished.

My dad’s acquaintance remained tethered to the dead man, fighting to stay alive and resolving bring the captain’s body back to his family. Ultimately, he was rescued at night against all odds; one tiny life plucked from a vast and furious ocean.

As I reflected on this week’s passage, I kept thinking of the survivor’s story. Among us today are so many confused and weary people, worn from treading water in the restless seas of human inclination. There are multitudes who need to know that as vast and variable as mankind’s ideology is,  God is even more vast yet He is entirely unchanging. The very reality of hope in Him, the solidity of our Rock, is sorely needed in the unpredictable and raging seas through which we navigate.

Many of these, too, are desperately thirsty. Sorrowfully, many look to the surging waves hoping to slake their parched lips, yet they find themselves in the same hopeless position as Coleridge’s ancient mariner:

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

But we who are in Christ have access to the Fount of Living Water; we stand upon the Rock of Ages. We know that His promise is well-tried and we love it!

Brothers and sisters, we must not be afraid to share a drop of truth, of cool and life-giving water, with a world rapidly dying from its unhealthy appetite for contamination. We must strive to maintain our footing on the solid Rock and resist being caught up into the shifting, restless seas.

Even if we are mocked (and we will be), even if we are persecuted (and we will be), love compels us to try even to the death. We acknowledge to our Lord, “Your testimonies are righteous forever,” and we plead with Him, “Give me understanding that I may live.”

And as we gain understanding, we share it. We allow Him to expose our sin then we lay it bare, confessing our own wrongs and joyfully telling of the great and unlikely forgiveness that our God has bestowed on us. Who knows? Perhaps one soul caught in the crazy, roiling depths will be plucked out and rescued by Him because we were not ashamed to live and speak as though we truly, honestly believe that our God’s righteousness really is righteous forever.

Though the societal tides may rage and foam, surge and recede, You, O God, do not change. You have appointed Your testimonies in righteousness and in all faithfulness.  Cleanse us and use us as vessels filled with Living Water to share with all whom we meet.  Though trouble and anguish may find us because of You, Your commandments will remain our delight. Grant us the faith to make it so, Lord, for You are righteous forever!